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SPEAK ON IT: "Why Successful Black Women Can't Find A Man"

I had all kinds of plans to boycott this show.  But thanks to pressure from all my friends who were watching and talking about the foolery (y'all know I hate being left out the loop), I felt forced to watch as well.  Last night's episode of "Nightline" featured Sherri Shepherd, Jacque Reid, Steve Harvey, Hill Harper, and others debating the never ending topic of "Why Can't Succesful Black Women Find A Man?"

 

Video of last night's show and discussion when you read on...

All I can say is this was exactly what I predicted it would be.  The message conveyed was that at the end of the day, black women are to blame for any and all problems as it relates to them finding love and relationships.  It appeared as if no other group took any responsibility in the so-called "issue".  Too bad I simply don't care enough anymore about how "they" are trying to make "us" feel.  We are not helpless, love starved, angry, judgmental, and superior beings.  Period.  And truth be told, whatever issues we're being forced to believe are just rampant and horrific in our community are in no way 100% our doing.  Nowhere near it actually.  But airing out the true problems and issues of our culture seems to be avoided to spare the feelings of certain people.  Except the feelings of black women.  I would go into my conspiracy theory of why I believe black women are being targeted to garner self-hate, but I digress.

Like I said last night to my firends, it's this simple:  BE you, DO you, and BE happy.  Then, regardless of the stats and issues, love and happiness will find YOU.  Period.  End of story.  Your thoughts?

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I cannot understand why black

I cannot understand why black people make such an issue of this subject. Looks like they are still dealing with trauma of slavery time, but that's BS, that's why they don't progress. I myself am half black/half asian, not even half black because my mom also has jewish and indian in her. In my country I'm mixed. In the US I would be black since I have black blood running through my veins. But I still identify myself more with black people, but that doesn't mean that I want or need a black man. I think black women shoud think more out of the box, like black men do and not focus too much on being with a black man. This only makes them bitter women, what makes them less attractive for black men who could/would be interested. So look further than the length of your nose, there are also a lot of attractive non black males out in this world and let the bitterness go, because that also won't get you a man either black or non black.
Anonymous's picture

i lived in various parts of

i lived in various parts of the world europe asia and parts of the middle east,, dated every culture almost,, but when i got married after my travels i married her cause i loved her not cause of her skin tone and how successful she happened to be
q.b.'s picture

Thanks Tasha! Indeed, we are

Thanks Tasha! Indeed, we are not victims, but we have certainly been taken for granted by Black men. Just like when John Mayer pulled his shinanigans, all these rappers, and actors, even ?uest Love weighed in, saying that John put his foot in in his mouth, but "he gets a pass". What happened to Black men defending and caring for Black women? For our community at large? On another note, Tasha, your theory on what may be a concerted effort to bring down the esteem of Black women is not far fetched. And the BS that White men aren't in to Black women is a straight up lie as well. If our men don't appreciate or want us, ladies, know that there are men out there from other groups who certainly are.
devon's picture

i have to co-sign on this

i have to co-sign on this 100% i was mad as hell at these black men saying John Mayer put his foot in his mouth/gets a pass! i thought for sure more people would come out swinging, the only one that i heard say anything was Noreaga (he called him an asshole).
secret ninja's picture

I agree 100% with the

I agree 100% with the reporter for this article. I am sick and tired of black women carrying their trifling butts on tv complaining about finding a black man. The subject is so old and worn out I didn't no about this show however, even if I did I would not have watch it! Mimicking the reporter I am just tired of it!! At times I feel black women are their own worst enemy. And for those who want to know yes I am a black woman... I have white women friends who have the same problem.. These black women that do these type of shows always come out looking desperate! Its so PATHETIC to me!!
IM4U2ADOR's picture

Because most of the

Because most of the successful "Black Women" get too big headed and look down on "Black Men". Maybe if some of these successful women would take some of the nice men that do not command high salaries and try to work with them, they would have a better outcome. However, there are some of the men that are unacceptable: Homo Thugs, player wannabe's and trifling men do not apply to my above statement.
Tia's picture

Not just thugs huh? Only homo

Not just thugs huh? Only homo thugs! Interesting.
Aargh's picture

A Black Woman's role in the

A Black Woman's role in the black family isn't respected, which is a problem. Why does manhood stem so much from control and what black men think other black men will think about it? Shit is mind boggling to say the least...
Nikki's picture

You guys act like "first

You guys act like "first move" women don't have successful relationships with men, which isn't the case. Its all about interpretation, and I don't recall God giving Adam any options either.
Nikki's picture

I'm with you Tasha! Be you

I'm with you Tasha! Be you and do you! All this hooplah is crazy. I am a black woman that happens to be with a successful black man and we are very happy. But I truely believe that I would be single and HAPPY today if he wasn't around. Black women should not have to settle..please!!
Flaca's picture

This brand new site is

This brand new site is annoying I prefer the old one I don't visit the website as much as I used to which is a shame because it shows very interesting pictures and topics now it is too much try and tone it down stop trying to make it complicating I am now going on other web sites like e news to look at celeb style and fashion. Not good enough
Anonymous's picture

IF EVERY PERSON IN THIS WORLD

IF EVERY PERSON IN THIS WORLD MADE THE PERSONAL DECISION TO DISREGARD "COLOR", WE COULD MAYBE END THAT THING CALLED RACISM...but, NO MATTER WHAT, THERE ARE ALWAYS GONNA BE PEOPLE TO HATE ON SOMETHING...
ChellyG's picture

EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP

EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP WORRYING ABOUT COLOR! LOVE HAS NO COLOR! DO YOU!
ChellyG's picture

l Love this color or not we

l Love this color or not we have to know what we want
roseline's picture

Extremely well said! This

Extremely well said! This whole conversation sounds so ignorant. Not to mention antiquated and racists. Open your eyes and your horizon. Just expand your opportunities. Leave the tunnel vision and prerequiste alone. Just start appreciating someone who you have mutual attraction with and who you can get along with. Be loyal to the God and the human race. Ultimately that's all that matters.
Anonymous's picture

It's common sense that the

It's common sense that the numbers don't allow for every successful black female to find a successful black man and variables such as interracial dating, prison, homosexuality, lack of education, institutional racism in corporate america, skew the numbers more against a woman tryin 2 find her black man. So, at a certain age, a woman needs to search elsewhere, and i've always been an advocate for interracial dating and searching overseas. Limiting urself to ur city AND on top of that, a certain race is simply...crazy! I apologize for my rant but if the woman is sooo successful, meaning they have money and are involuntarily surrounded by other successful ppl, and the stats show that the higher up you are in corporate america, the less diversity there is, THEN they have a surplus social and financial means to expand their hunt, that is, if they want a husband. I've met tons of guys from england that would LOVE a truly successful black american woman as a wife.. same w/ caribbean guys or african (like my baby). These woe is me women need to grab a map and get out more.
Drea's picture

It was said best on the show.

It was said best on the show. Women were told to not look in a man to find Happiness. Then women are so busy trying to find success because they think within Success will come Happiness. They realize that they are back at ground ZERO. Because without a good Brother you are not happy and a still a Bitter Black Woman. I challenge all my beautiful sisters to take from this show and try to find or make things happen with us Good Black Brothers. And to also help us see the potential in us as we do in you.
A.Real.Black.Man's picture

OMG Drea! You literally read

OMG Drea! You literally read my mind. I feel the exact same why...stop crying and whining and look outside your box!
D-Rock's picture

I could only stomach about

I could only stomach about 5min of this discussion. Not only am I tired of this topic but judging by the panel this seems to be a generational issue. I noted that the panel guests appeared to be in the late 30/early 40+ age range. And dude with the locs looked suspect, I don't want men with updo's telling me what my "issue" is...
Friday's picture

I am a 24 yr old black man

I am a 24 yr old black man and I would like to put MY 2 CENTS in this. I watch the show and loved it not because it kept things real but from how sherie was "acting", she was being confronted by Hill and had nothing more to say. I loved the show because as a black man I have been overlook plenty of times by the good women. They dont understand as a BLACK man in todays society we must have twice the credentials of Whites just to get the same job as they have. So even though I am a graduate of college I must recieve a masters degree/or equivalent to get that door open and become that successful Black brother that these Black women and young brothers want to see. But the sisters only see what you HAVE NOW! I damn near choked when he brought up the OBAMA's situation, that was a perfect example and I commend Michelle because she represents what a true women does for a good BLACK man with Potential. Thanks Young NUPE 3 YOs! Peace
A.Real.Black.Man's picture

You're an idiot and part of

You're an idiot and part of the problem... Quit tryin to be a "BLACK" man and just be a man
Anonymous's picture

u probably wont see this

u probably wont see this since you commented days ago, but Im a 24 yr old young women, & you seem like a great guy, based off of your comment, i totally agree. i think we need to exchange info!!!!!!
Anonymous's picture

the same thing u guys want us

the same thing u guys want us to look and see in black men, you all should be able to see in us...OUR POTENTIAL....... PLUS I dont think we have a problem with the growth of a man to becoming the person they want or feel they need to be....but alot and I mean alot of men dont know how to be gentleman... and another thing alot of men lie for absolutley no reason before men try to check women they need to check theirselves
Anonymous's picture

Exactly Tasha - as I wrote to

Exactly Tasha - as I wrote to someone stating that in one of Oprah's magazine - Spring Issue - a white woman wrote up about how she used her list & found her man - her list consisted of 100 things & she found that man within a year without actively seeking him. Oprah & all of ABC need to stop making Steve Harvey be the next Dr. Phil - is book was okay but he's no freaking EXPERT - expert on what - GTFOH. Be YOU, Forget about all these theories that exists just like weight loss plans. "PUSS & DOG don't have the same luck" at the end of this gravy train I want to know the stats on Steve's success rate as he does this crap on his show as well. I would never wholeheartedly take advice from any of these so-called expert on relationship. Their lives are a mock anyway just like the average Joe & I refuse to be blamed for the circumstances around me.
Hibiscus Rose's picture

I am a black women, with

I am a black women, with carribean roots, born and living in Europe. BW overhere do not have this problem. Why? I think it's because we dont't blame other people for our "misfortune". We just live, mingle with other races and find a nice MAN. I think you should stop looking for a succesfull black man and just try and find a nice MAN. The single girls' problem in Europe is just that: a single girls' problem. There are girls from all races in my country who are single and just looking for a nice guy. They don't group into black women, white women or asian women and certainly do not discuss it on tv so another group can laugh at them and feel superior. I think that a "lighter" approach to the "problem" and no tunnelvision would do a lot of black ladies good. That's just my two cents. I am married to a wonderful white man after dating all sorts of guys, have two beautiful little girls, and we've made each other successfull by giving each others support. I did not set out to meet black or white, I just dated a lot of different races and found my soulmate in him.
Anonymous's picture

What I hate with all those so

What I hate with all those so called shows is that it is a lot of bla bla and nothing truthful. The reason we are not married compared to white women? black men prefer to choose outside of his race. He has to many jchoice especially when he is a handsome black successful man. Then women of all races throw themselves at them. I also think that they have issues with their identity and position as a black individual in this racist society. You get more accepted with a white girl, have mulatto babies that look better then the nappy ones etc.. and this is not about to change. I find that before black women had to fight against the white women interested in having jungle love but now latinas, asian and all other races are after them which diminish our chances of having a decent black man. I also resent the comment of this stupid guy who said that all we wanted is Denzel!! and that we are not Michelle Obama so that we should lower our standards...Why?? if I am highly educated, should I not expect to meet someone who I can at least have things in common? why should I settle with a bus driver or lower only based on the fact that I have to lower my standards because of brothers who did not went to school? I do not see the white woman do the same.
Anonymous's picture

It's sad because no matter

It's sad because no matter what, black women will always be seen as having some sort of problem...we cant find a man, we are angry, we dont like black men who date white women. As a black woman, I find it highly apalling that people are using this issue as a reason to continue to blame black women for issue with finding a decent man. What about the stuff that men do? True enough, there are some trifling black women out there, but they don't represent those of us who are honest, hardworking, and want a nice man to settle down with.
Jimi's picture

I highly suggest everyone

I highly suggest everyone google Nightline and watch the unedited version of the conversation. ABC should be ashamed for tailoring the conversation in such a stereotypical fashion. The editors should win awards for "stirring the pot". What they did was award-worthy. I was hating Steve Harvey too until I watched the unedited version.
IsItTrue?'s picture

EVERY single person

EVERY single person commenting here needs to go to http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/video/whos-cheated-10415684&tab=9482930&... CLICK NIGHTLINE FACEOFF from the left panel, and watch videos 1-10. The UNEDITED event was fairly interesting and it wasn't as messy as it seemed, there was great communication.That's why I'm mad they cut out a lot of salient points Hill made regarding the transformation of the Black family and communication. THAT is the important stuff, not all the weave jokes. I also agreed with Steve, especially when he told Sherrie and the female audience they were clapping for all the wrong things: you can't be too busy eyeballing the position and miss the potential in the man. Sherrie need to figure out which is most important, being a Godly man, or being a rich one? Sometimes you won't get both. By the way, anybody else think Jaque Reid and Hill Harper would make a really great couple? I hope they think about that, I swear I saw him admiring her at one point.
Single and Joyous's picture

I agree - watch the unedited

I agree - watch the unedited version online! I enjoyed it, although I didn't see the edited episode on TV. Even Steve Harvey made some good points, especially about women not making marriage a requirement with their partner and letting that bitterness fester when they should have just said something.
Anonymous's picture

I see everyone is tired of

I see everyone is tired of this topic and feels like White media is just piggybacking on a sensitive issue for profit, which they probably are. However, I don't have a problem with us having this converstation, nor any of the ones that more sensitive to us as Blacks or women. The statistics are just NOT kind when you analyze the Black family in America. I'm so happy for all of you sisters that are educated and married or doing just fine, but that's not the case for everyone. And when our homes are broken at SUCH a high rate, and we are pushing children out of these single parent, one woman doing everything homes, it creates consequences. Everything can't be hidden, conversation is good. However, WE need to be the ones facilitating it, because then we have more control over how WE are portrayed. Also, PLEASE get Sherri Shepherd off these panels, or at least have her stop saying she's a Christian. Almost everything that COMES OUT OF HER MOUTH is anti-Christian living. Doesn't she know that the man is supposed to find her? Doesn't she know that according to the book she supposedly lives by, God hates divorce, so her finding another mate is tantamount to adultery. Plus, all that materialism goes against EVERYTHING being a Godly woman entails. If he's the man for you and he drives a truck, that's your man boo. You don't get to pick and choose based on societies standards, you're supposed to see people the way God does..with the Spirit as your discerning guide to their heart. *smh* For whatever you all may say about him being qualified, and the issues *I* may have with the nonsense he said on Christian TV regarding marriage, Steve Harvey was on point with Sherri. Same as Hill Harper. The other guy, I've heard of his book and his way of thinking...I don't think he has any love for women.
Sherri knows she needs to STOP's picture

I didn't think Sherri was

I didn't think Sherri was that bad. I agree with the fact that the bible says a man should find woman,a lot of women make the mistake of searching for a man instead of just living their lives for god alone. but as far as her getting a divorce it may have been because her husband cheated on her, and i really think that was the case. Even though god is against divorce the only exception is if a partner committs adultery. Its in matthews 19:9.
Anonymous's picture

I had this same conversation

I had this same conversation recently, with a friend who was trying to justify dating a married man whose wife had supposedly cheated on him. She pointed out that same passage you're talking about. So I really went and studied it, and you know what...when you take the Bible as a whole I think the overall message is that divorce in and of itself is only a response to man's failings. It's not something that is congruent with living by the spirit. To make a long story short, when you go into Leviticus and research the old ways they had of doing things, it's different than it was today. Men and women were sort of in a holding pattern before they ever got married, but that 'engagement' was still very serious. During that time, that is when the writ of divorce was ok if the person you had been betrothed to had 'cheated' on you. Then you could rescind the offer. I still have a lot of work to do in figuring this out, as I'm not that good at interpreting the original Greek words. But its very interesting. As for Sherrie, she just seemed WAY too hung up on materialistic things. Just because Hill didn't have a car when they first met, that disqualified him from a potential date? lol, we've got to stop seeing with our eyes and do so with our heart.
Here's what I meant's picture

Steve Harvey needs to go sit

Steve Harvey needs to go sit down somewhere. When exactly did he become an authority on relationships? From reading the Strawberry Letter every day? Please spare me. The pseudo-intellectualization is just KILLING me. So there is no relationship between being ashamed and being intimidated? Really Steve? The two states both involve a situation in which someone has something that you want that you, for the moment, may covet or be unable to access for whatever reason. If you're ashamed (feeling humiliated, inadequate etc.) of that lack, it follows that when you're interacting with a partner who has the very thing that you want, the very thing that you think that you should have, so much so that its absence affects your self esteem (you're ashamed after all), you are going to be intimidated. The person who is intimidated is the one who injects the interaction with an inferiority/superiority dynamic. To point out that "you think that I'm intimidating" does not mean that I actively do something to intimidate you, that I'm the aggressor. Most of the time, feeling intimidated is about a perception due to inadequacy or shame. It's easier therefore for the man to say "you do this to me", "you emasculate me" etc. as opposed to admitting that you FEEL inadequate. Why is that women need to guess that you're ashamed? Why can't you even articulate it? Could it be that you're intimidated to admit that you feel inferior, that you're intimidated? That would be catastrophic, because heaven help us, "I won't be a real man; you won't know your place; you'll try to rule me" and whatever other nonsense that your intimidation and shame come up with! I'm so tired of these inane discussions! You need to shut up and sit down Steve Harvey.
Aargh's picture

Well said lady. Well said. I

Well said lady. Well said. I cannot even say anymore, because you said everything I wanted to say.
Anonymous's picture

There is nothing young, or

There is nothing young, or fabulous about this topic and just cause we are black does not mean we have to stand for it. Who is taking polls on this shit and why, when there are more important things to measure, like ones own idea of what success means ? TV, and ex-comedians aka casket-suit wearin' brothas intervening to "help" ... i mean c'mon... all races fall short... don't believe the hype..?? And jus cause Mr. Hightower finally got Regina to let down her guard does not make him an expert! black is beautiful!
Lisa B's picture

I think black women should

I think black women should date outside their race more...i mean black men do it...what r u waiting for Denzel to come get u ..?...it aint happening....be happy and find love where u find it!!!!
babyluv...Uwanteswho!!!!'s picture

Someone else said it all so

Someone else said it all so much better than me, so let me repost for some enlightment. All credit due to Neecy (Link: http://sojournerspassport.com/v-for-vendetta/comment-page-1/#comment-83) Great post Khadija! I was also reading the comments on that particular blog and one woman just didn’t get it. On one hand she complained that all the BM in her environment were with NON BW. Next, she talks about how not all BW want to sever ties with the Black community and wants to work on “healing” Black relationships. Then she talks about how White men “view” BW (of course the same ole “they only want us for sex”). Then in the same breathe turns around and says(after she’s basically shown contempt for WM based on what they did in the 1800’s) “well no WM looks at me or tries to date me”. SERIOUSLY??? I wonder why! What these BW need to realize is this: WM are not in the same position that BW are. They don’t REAAAALY need or have to date a BW if they want a mate. So it doesn’t affect them one way or another if a bunch of BW want to walk around holding grudges against them. YET, as you pointed out, it only ends up hurting BLACK WOMEN, when BW are adamant about trying to “prove their race loyalty” by putting down WM. These same types of BW will give BM a pass for the same things they reject WM as potential partners for. Every BM they know could be one that either: (1) doesn’t date BW at all (2) shows only sexual interest in BW (3) has disrespected or abused BW in some way (4) has participated in exploiting BW (5) Has said hurtful or nasty things about BW or how BW look or how BW do not measure up to other non BW And they will still say as a collective “there are still some good Bm out there”. Ironically, they will use those same reasons to reject all WM or say that all WM just want BW for sex or disrespect BW or don’t appreciate BW. These types of BW get more upset at WM for preferring their own women, than they do at Bm for rejecting their own women. HOW ABSURD IS THAT! Also, I believe a lot of BW who do hold grudges against WM have misdirected anger. They see WM putting WW on a pedestal and are bothered by the fact BM do not and have never done the same for BW. Instead of holding BM accountable for their actions or lack thereof, its a lot easier to take it out on WM for doing to their women what many BW wish BM would do for them. So they call themselves hating WM while steadily giving BM a pass. Who is that hurting?? NO ONE BUT BLACK WOMEN. These race loyal BW are a dying breed. They are not smart nor savvy when it comes to a lot of things. one being logic and the other being common sense. If you make yourself EXCLUSIVLEY available to a group of men who are not making themselves exclusively available to you, then doesn’t LOGIC say that supply and demand is waaay off and not working in your favor??? If these race loyal BM only BW were REAAAALLY smart, they’d understand that when a man has to COMPETE for a woman’s affections, they know they need to come with their ‘A’ game. Wouldn’t common sense tell these BM only BW, that if they truly wanted BM to step up their game, that sitting around letting them know you are available to them and ONLY them gives them NO INCENTIVE whatsoever to bring something to the table??? Why should they??? Its not like they have to compete with better men for their affections. That’s why when these race loyal BW say ‘I got a good BM” or “there’s a lot of good BM out there” I literally take it with a grain of salt b/c these days in the black community a “good BM” simply is one with half his teeth, and a functioning you know what! LOL. Its simple supply and demand if you want to break it down to the ridiculous. I don’t understand why they don’t GET that.
Naima's picture

"What these BW need to

"What these BW need to realize is this: WM are not in the same position that BW are. They don’t REAAAALY need or have to date a BW if they want a mate" This is a very relevant point. Overall, I see a lot of sisters that don't bring positive attitudes, smiles, or even a fun loving nature to the most basic relationships. We need to stop this, because we are not making anyone else suffer as much as we do ourselves, whether we have a man or not. We've got to be ok in SELF before any man can come along and really be a partner. As far as the Black/White issue goes, I think it goes deeper than just saying "Girl, I gotta get me a White dude", because there is a reality in America where Black women are not the idealized standard of beauty. That makes it more difficult for US to date interracially, IMHO. Now, I know everyone has a story of a White dude who won't stop begging for a date or whatever, but I'm speaking in the collective sense: there are just some societal constructs that will always make Black women a different commodity in the dating marketplace. IMO, that is a strong reason Black women statistically date the least outside of their race, as well as the loyalty to Black Love. I agree with the basic point of your post, that overall we need to stop having such a rigid view of how "LOVE" will enter our lives. He might not be Black, but many of us also need to realize, he may be the dude driving the garbage truck. All of a sudden, that's a problem for many of us but you know what, so many run for the dude with "EVERYTHING" and many times get blinded what people have. Next thing you know, you fell for someone who feels like he's better than you, that he's entitled to treat you anywhich way because HE'S the catch and you're lucky to have him. i.e. Lisa Raye who was soo proud to be MRS. MISICK, the FIRST LADY. Yet not too long after was crying about getting her behind beaten and needing a divorce seettlement. That's what happens when you get fooled by the titles and the materialism.
Sherri knows she needs to STOP's picture

I totally agree. I feel like

I totally agree. I feel like especially a lot of my bw friends they go oh if i am going to date a wm they have to do this or that and do a total double standard. Like u get mad when wm dont want to date you but u wont date them either so why you have the nerve to get upset.
Anonymous's picture

i laugh at how people skirt

i laugh at how people skirt this under the rug. regardless of who is too blame (which is not all black folks fault i feel) SOMETHING NEEDS TO HAPPEN. honestly, the show was all tom foolery everyone thought it would be. although steve and oompa loompa who sat by hill can but a sock in it...ESPECIALLY oompa loompa lol
holla06's picture

srry...meant "the show WAS

srry...meant "the show WAS NOT all tom foolery..."
holla06's picture

I know a hot club: = -

I know a hot club: = - [_www.BlackwhiteRomance.com_]= which is a dating service for whites and blacks to find their interracial love. there has been thousands of single members online and many black and white single girls or guys waitting for you maybe you will like it.Hot and sexy,Share with you~ = - [_www.BlackwhiteRomance.com_]= free to join C'MON NOW!!!
Anonymous's picture

P.s. white I love this blog,

P.s. white I love this blog, the bright purple is making it extremely hard to read. I miss the old site!
Asia Leone's picture

Women are always looking for

Women are always looking for the right man to: make us happy, complete us, be a perfect partner/friend/lover, etc. No one can be all those things. YOU can make yourself happy-Take a walk, a class, volunteer, frequent spas, trips, hang w/ ur girls, meet new people of the same interests. There's so much pressure put on men 2 make us happy & pressure put on ourselves 2 find the right man. Let's try being the Right Woman first :)
Asia Leone's picture

totally agree with you. we

totally agree with you. we must first love ourselves as women period before we can expect a man too. also we need to make sure that we are the things that we want in a partner, especially to ourselves. so many peeps out there do not love and respect themselves. all relationships are a mirror of what's going on insdie of us. i'm sick and tired of this topic. BE love and it will find you.
loveyourheart's picture

Well what bothers me is the

Well what bothers me is the shallowness of some men. Lets talk about that. They want the woman with the big butt and slutty outfits and will walk right past the women with the good hearts and morals and values. They can look like Flavor Flav and still want and expect to get a Halle Berry or a Sanaa Lathan. They kept talk about how a woman will pass up a blue collar brother in hopes to get that 6 figure Denzel type, but so do men. It goes both ways. Some men can have 5 or 6 kids but won't date a woman with more than 1 kid and have the nerve to say "She got too many kids for me!" WTH???? Me personally, a man who Loves God, his family and is loyal and trustworthy and a hardworker is alright with me! He can be at the post office, work in a steel mill, be a manager at a grocery store, that never mattered to me. And i hate that men think all women want that just because we have a successful career.
Melody's picture

PREACH!!!!!! I knew I guy

PREACH!!!!!! I knew I guy that was over weight and when he lost weight he decided he would not date any big women because no one looked at him when he was over weight.......WTF?
Anonymous's picture

@ Melody-You hit the nail

@ Melody-You hit the nail RIGHT on the head. I couldn't have expressed it myself any better. Men need to take A LOT of the blame for the way women treat them. We are responding to their behavior.
Ms. Christian's picture

Funny you and i are on the

Funny you and i are on the same page. Actually ur words are similar to my facebook status. Women need to change they way we think and stop letting TV dictate whats what for us.
Anonymous's picture

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