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FANTASIA SPEAKS: "I Just Wanted Out!"

Fantasia is finally speaking out in her own words.  The 26-year-old states that her overdose a few weeks ago was no accident, and she "just wanted out."

 

More deets on her first interview since her suicide attempt when your read on...

Fanny did an interview with VH1's Behind the Music (airing 9 p.m. ET/PT tomorrow--the same day her album Back To Me drops).  And she opened up about her recent suicide attempt and wanting to die.  She talks about her overdose being no accident, and how she attempted suicide so she could have a way out:

"I didn't have any fight in me. I didn't care about anything. I just wanted out.  At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it, all of that [expletive]."

"I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can't accidentally take a whole bottle of pills."

"I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family – my father, dealing with men and their [expletive] – I was tired. "My head was hurting me. I was over it."

Her manager Brian talked about what Fantasia texted him right before, and how he found her:

"Her emotions were extremely low.  She'd been crying all day. Fantasia was just numb. Fantasia texted me, saying 'I love you.' I wrote back, 'I love you more.' Then it hit me."

"I wrote, 'You better not do anything or think about doing anything stupid.' And I left it at that. About 10 minutes later, Fantasia texted me back, and she said, 'Already did.' I went into Fantasia's room and saw her on the floor, and my heart just dropped."

Fantasia went on to talk about her thoughts when she "realized" Antwaun Cook, her lover, was still married, and her thoughts once she awoke in the hospital the day after her attempt:

"When I met him, he was separated ... wasn't living in his home. He didn't want to be back with his wife – that is what I was told," Barrino says. "I remember waking up in the hospital [and thinking], 'It didn't work, I'm still here in this hellhole. Still here with all this drama going on.' "

"My nurse Melanie was a blessing into my life because she didn't tell me what I wanted to hear," she says. "She told me what I needed to hear. And she looked at me and said, 'You gotta get up, and you've gotta get out of here, 'cause you haven't fulfilled your destiny.' "

"I realized how people end up in the grave. Because that one moment [snaps her fingers] of just breaking or feeling like I can't, I can't go on, it's too heavy. That was somewhere I don't ever want to go again."

Sounds like her attempt was her rock bottom and rude awakening.  I'm sure we'll see it all play out on the new season of her reality show "Fantasia For Real".  In case you missed it, check out these pics of her and Antwaun having a "meeting" the day after she got out of the hospital...cameras in tow.

Source

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Comments

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I usually don't comment on

I usually don't comment on theYbf. It's just mostly entertainment but the harshness of those who have commented is simply horrendous. I pray to God you all get mercy and compassion when you hit rockbottom. I don't condone the actions of Ms. Barrino but I know what it's like to hit rockbottom. I was plotting my own suicide some time ago and everything just seemed hopeless. You know you are wrong, you know your fam will hurt, but you feel so worthless that you don't have the strength to stay for them bc you feel you are such a disappointment to life. I believe her when she texted. It always helps to have someone reach out bc as much as you want to do it, you don't. I ended up mustering the last of my strength and went to my Life (bible study) group. When they saw me they saw something was wrong. And they prayed for me and reaffirmed me and it liberated me from that darkness. Their constant care afterwards encouraged me to fully relinquish the spirit of depression and learn to cope with negativity properly. So all you ones who criticize a. haven't ever been there b. I pray you never get there c. need to learn to have compassion. I've had friends try to take their lives and as angry as I was I learned I needed to have compassion. Compassion is what helps people get over life trials. Think of your lowest moment- and think of what you desired- it was love, understanding and compassion. I pray you all get some.
Aura's picture

Fantasia - please get and

Fantasia - please get and stay strong! Your daughter needs you. I hope you the best in life.
Happy Lady's picture

Come on Fanny, get it

Come on Fanny, get it together. We've (women) been "wronged" by a man, married or not, atleast once in our lifetime. Girl, that's life, deal with the problems as they come with strong faith and relentless prayer. I hope that you've learned from this and we won't see you with this guy EVER again, cuz at that point, my support is out the window. Now get it together!!!
getittogether's picture

Times are beyond hard for me

Times are beyond hard for me but I don't have kids to consider. This statement is selfish on so many levels. You have a daughter to consider and it becomes less about you and all about your children. She didn't ask to be bought into this world. I'm done with Ms. Barrino. The entire statement is so myopic that it hurts my heart to think people like this are able to procreate. Just SELFISH. Get it together. You have control over your destiny. Tired of people doing you wrong, cut them from your life and keep it moving. I'm sure you are going to run into more lying jokers like Mr. Cook but that doesn't mean you end your life!
kec's picture

Everybody may not be has

Everybody may not be has strong as you are.
Anonymous's picture

You are correct. When someone

You are correct. When someone has a misstep or lapse in judgement, we have to remember everyone's coping skills are not the same. One woman can triumph over enormous obstacles and another women may fall. Just keep that in mind.
Anonymous's picture

I agree with some of the

I agree with some of the things that are being said about fantasia in the first place she turned me off a long time ago singing gospel kicking off shoes and pretending to shout, they me say this it's not to pass judgement nut it's the word of God. The Holy Spirit will not dwell in a unclean temple and our bodies are temples and what about her child
ms hearn's picture

Fanny temple may not be clean

Fanny temple may not be clean to you , but to god her temple may be cleaner than your temple.
Anonymous's picture

I am 31 years old currently

I am 31 years old currently pregnant with my first baby. My heart dropped at the thought of Fantasia deserting poor Zion like that. We all have problems and don't want to be here at some point, but you have to snap back when you have a baby that is depending on you. I am not here to post hate mail about Fantasia because I am a big fan and think she is very talented........but its obvious, she needs a two bedroom for Zion and herself and kick those other grown folks to the curb. Sometimes you have to separate yourself from others, yes even family and get your life together. Best of Luck and your babies love along with the love of God is all you need!
Anonymous's picture

I feel kind of sorry for her

I feel kind of sorry for her but then again not really, you claim to be so religious yet you get knocked up as a kid. fuck married men. and try to kill yourself, ummmmm yeah who is your pastor bishop don magic juan get off of that religious crap cause god isnt in your heart and never has been. granted your family including mom and religious granny aint shit and your brother is useless except for the one who is a backup singer he seems to at least be trying to do his own thing. but you have this beautiful little daughter and your gonna let some dick make you say fk you to her and leave her in this world without you, granted she might be better off without you but thats not your decision to make , dont traumatize that baby any more, its bad enough she has a whore illeterate mom who is as dumb as a bag of rocks now your going to try and leave her with the rest of that fked up clan, I should call child welfare myself. and how does a bitch who cant read write a text to someone please.so dumb cant even kill yourself right, what a failure , be glad god gave your useless ass another chance and take care of your daughter before she becomes montana fishburns protege
tdew's picture

I guess I'm gonna have to say

I guess I'm gonna have to say it. Who made you GOD!!!!!!!! Obviously, Fantasia has her faults, just as you do. Just the fact that you wrote such a venomous statement shows your flaws and judgement. You need to repent, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous's picture

I wonder what heaven or hell

I wonder what heaven or hell you have to put somebody in since you want to condemn her so bad. I wonder if we looked at your life, it we could see no sin since you want to cast the first stone. How dare you speak about someone's mother like that. We should be praying for Fantasia instead of destroying her. Although, it may be a publicity stunt, it is obvious that Fantasia has a lot on her. Between family members trying to hang on her coat tails and now getting involved with the wrong man. She does need better people around her but she definitely does not everyone calling her a whore and saying where her child should go. All of you talk about Jay-Z and the illuminati but these same ones want to basically crucify and judge. Get off your high horse and get a clue.
Browneyez in Charlotte, NC's picture

OMG!!!!

OMG!!!!
bestuneverhad's picture

A bit harsh?

A bit harsh?
Anonymous's picture

It's so sad that you put this

It's so sad that you put this whole situation before god and your own child. What were you really thinking. Really Fantasia, is this man more important to you than your own child? I love your music, but don't condone your behavior patterns being a mother and a adult. This shouldn't at no time be the example that you are sending out to your daughter Zion.
Anonymous's picture

This wreaks of publicity

This wreaks of publicity stunt!! I dont feel sorry for her I honestly think she needs help because if you really wanted to kill yourself you dont take asprin (blank stare) then text people after you supposedly try to kill yourself. It was obviously a cry for help. She needs to stop worrying about this man and try to work on herself for her and her daughters sake.
miss infamous's picture

I LOVE FANNY...BUT COME ON.

I LOVE FANNY...BUT COME ON. YOU HAVE A CHILD. FORGET ALL THE OTHER GROWN ASS PEOPLE THAT ARE TAKING TAKING TAKING. JUST GET THEM OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. BE A GROWN ASS WOMEN AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILD. WHO WAS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILD IF YOU DIED???? WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF HER LIFE??? HOW WOULD THE REST OF HER LIFE BEEN IF YOU WOULD HAVE TAKEN HERS OVER A MAN. GIRL, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, SUCESSFUL, AND STRONG......MEN WILL COME AND GO IN YOUR LIFE AND YOU HAVE MUCH MORE DRAMA TO ENDURE. YOU KNOW THIS AS A CHRISTIAN WOMAN. SO WHAT IF PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE A HOME WREKER...YOU KNOW THE TRUTH IN YOUR HEART. WELL EVEN IF YOU WERE....SO WHAT.... WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. HONESTLY ASK GOD'S FORGIVENESS AND MOVE ON. FANNY....YOU KNOW THIS. COME ON, GIRL.
Anonymous's picture

keep singing and raising ur

keep singing and raising ur baby
BlacqueNavy's picture

Fantasia needs your prayers

Fantasia needs your prayers not hate. Stop judging her and hear her cry out for help. She wants help. She has problems that has nothing to due with a man. All women! Calling All Women! Stand Up and Pray for your sister fast recovery!
Anonymous's picture

Where is the like button? :)

Where is the like button? :)
Anonymous's picture

While all the prayer warriors

While all the prayer warriors are in full effect for Fantasia, where is the support for this wronged wife with two kids? If you're gonna support the sisters, then support her too.
Holly's picture

Amen! I agree! Everyone need

Amen! I agree! Everyone need to stop saying what they wouldn't do because we donot know what her life is like in the spotlight!
Anonymous's picture

Oh she is "recovered" alright

Oh she is "recovered" alright and laughing at her gullible fans all the way to the bank!
anonymous's picture

The sad thing is, the more

The sad thing is, the more she talks the more people lose respect for her. It's not like the album was going to be a hit and sell a lot of copies anyway, but now she's just making it worse. She needs to be quiet before the twenty people that are going to purchase the album decide not to.
Carmen's picture

So Fantasia admits that just

So Fantasia admits that just two weeks ago she was trying to kill herself, and since the bitch has already taped an entire Behind the Scene's special. Where's the counseling for you...for her daughter. I didn't see Fantasia mention her daughter ONCE. WTF...her nurse was the blessing that told her what she needed to here? What about her DAUGHTER? She's all the reason you need to be here.
HAHAHHAHAHA's picture

THAT IS A SELFISH ACT TO KILL

THAT IS A SELFISH ACT TO KILL YOURSELF..UR NOT HURTING URSELF UR HURTING THE ONE'S U LEAVE BEHING TO CLEAN UP UR MESS AND GO THROUGH THE PAIN..WHAT ABOUT HER DAUGHTER? IS SHE TELLING US A MAN MEANS MORE TO HER TO HER OWN CHILD...I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR ANYONE WHO THINKS OF BEING SO LOW.
Anonymous's picture

While Fantasia's doing all

While Fantasia's doing all this 'promoting', I hope Mrs. Cook is able to ignore it and go on with her life. Ugh, Fantasia please just go away.
Holly's picture

Mrs. COOK is part of this

Mrs. COOK is part of this little SHOW. She filed for divorce to match up WITH the SHOW. She was aware of the CHEATING of his HUSBAND with Fantasia for MONTHS PRIOR. She went on her Wedding Anniversary Day Trip ALONE. She wants Air time as much as Fantasia she's not any VICTIM. This is all for the SHOW inclusive of Mr. Cooks "moving" out. All of this is for VH-1. I'm sure she in on it as well.
 FURIOUS STYLES's picture

Please don't throw that 'Mrs.

Please don't throw that 'Mrs. Cook is in on it' garbage at me. Go beat that drum someplace else.
Holly's picture

I AGREE THAT WE SHOULDN'T

I AGREE THAT WE SHOULDN'T INCLUDE MRS. COOK UNTIL WE HAVE PROOF SHE'S INVOLVED. I'D RATHER NOT BE APART OF DEGRADING HER FAMILY DEMISE (at the hands of her selfish husband): Than making hurtful, heartless remarks just to say I TOLD YOU SO. CHEATING PARTNERS AND FAMILIES DEMISE IS AN EXTREMELY PAINFUL SITUATION, TO SAY THE LEST. I'D RATHER NOT INCLUDE HER AS NOT TO DEMEAN THE OF YOU FAMILY FALLING APART
Wisdom2's picture

****typo***not to demean the

****typo***not to demean the "SEVERITY" of " HER" family falling apart. #mybad
Wisdom2's picture

First and foremost, if she

First and foremost, if she wanted to die, she wouldn't have let somebody know wtf she was doing giving them to chance to come find her. GTFOH I feel like this is all some B.S. What strikes me the most is the fact that she would be willing to leave her daughter who she loves so much to deal with the pain of losing her mother. Over what? A man? Rumors? Gossip blogs? Come on. I'm not a mother, but I can't IMAGINE leaving my child in the world to mourn my loss and I took my own life. My cousin "attempted suicide" two years ago, and they sent her ass right to Georgia Regional for a week after. But somehow Fantasia ends up out of the hospital within days and BACK in the face of the person who was a contributing factor to this "suicide attempt." WTF kind of shit is that? Who does she think we are? GTFOH Fantasia. I used to like Fantasia, but I feel that all this messy staged drama right before her album release is some bull. I have literally lost all respect for her as a woman, an artist and a mother. She needs to sit the f*ck down and shut the f*ck up.
Sarcastic Chick's picture

Everything you said is on

Everything you said is on point, 100%. I am a mother...and there is absolutely no way I would do that to my child. She deserves better. The don't ask to be born...so they deserve unconditional love. And her giving up over a situation with someone else's husband just pitiful. Note to all ladies: This is the prime example to why you don't date a married man. You wait until the divorce is final!!! Why? So you don't end up gettied "lied" to or anything else. This type of situation can be avoided. He could be really separated from his wife or he could be lying you just don't know. So to save yourself you wait...respect marriage...but most of all RESPECT YOURSELF!
THE END's picture

Agree with every word.

Agree with every word.
Holly's picture

Why hasn't she mentioned her

Why hasn't she mentioned her daughter? Or been seen out in the public with, um Idk, her daughter?? does anyone know when she'll appear on wendy williams?? I hope wendy gets her a$$
JMO's picture

"In the words of Antoine

"In the words of Antoine Dodson "You are really, really dumb! Fo real!" And she must think we're dumb too. Okay you got taken in by a lying man, it happens, but don't act like you and your people never read the blogs to know what people were saying. You didn't check cause you didn't care and when you realized it was impacting your image you cooked up this BS to both get publicity and sympathy. But instead it's going to backfire and people, like me, just HATE YOU! Suicide is not a joke, BUT now your career is Fantasia!!!
Twilightey's picture

DAMN!!!! You went in on her

DAMN!!!! You went in on her a** worse than I did. I, like you, think that this little stunt has backfired and I'm not buying all of this shyt. She's actually making me not like her dumb, dingy a**. Suicide my a**...I just aint buying it. In the words of Ocho Cinco "Chile Please!" In the words of Big Boy "Boi Stop!" In the words of Nicki Minaj "Sit yo a** all the way down!" Epic fail Fanny Mae, EPIC FAIL!
Jazmine's picture

Fantasia had a child when she

Fantasia had a child when she was still a teenager so it wasn’t like a planned event. Her problems were not just with a man it was her whole family. Anybody that has money will tell you the pressure of people always wanting from you and never giving back. It is especially bad when those people are family it is not easy to say no to them because you love them. Anyway when a person tries to commit suicide they are not in their right mind, if they were then they wouldn’t be doing it. Many people get overwhelmed to the point of feeling it is no use to live. I have no doubt Fantasia loves her daughter she may have felt her daughter would be better off without her. Just because she is giving interviews doesn't mean she is doing all this for publicity. Her life has been lived out through the public eye for a while so this is no surprise. I hate to put it like this but at least she did not try to take her daughters life as well which so many are doing killing the whole family or like that woman who just killed her 2 sons because she couldn’t take it anymore she didn’t try to kill herself she killed them. Now thats a shame.
koko's picture

I have worked with battered

I have worked with battered children and adults in crisis for many years. Their lives were/are far worse than Fantasia's will every be. They fought and continue to fight for their lives. They had early pregnancies and bad abusive families or no families at all. On top of that, they don't have the money that Fantasia has. Since Fantasia wasn't in her "right mind" she should have stayed in the hospital longer and not tear her gown off so that she can rush out to meet with Antuan in front of the cameras.
anonymous's picture

Amen, KoKO words to read over

Amen, KoKO words to read over and over again...
passion's picture

good point!

good point!
Anonymous's picture

If there was an award for the

If there was an award for the dumbest bitch of the year, Fannie Mae would definitely be the most deserving recipient. I mean, what grown ass woman with a child to take care of would even THINK about suicide??? Over a married man??? Bitch are you serious? Niggas come and go AND he walked out on his wife and children!!! Imagine what he'll take your gullible ass through. My fault, he's already taking you through it. Just because a nigga tells you something doesn't mean it's true...that's what they do, LIE. Especially when it comes to getting some pussy. If that man was done with his wife, why didn't he file for divorce??? She wants people to feel sorry for her ass, but I don't. I do feel sorry for her child though because she's a terrible example as a woman and a mother. I also feel sorry for that man's wife and kids that he walked out on. Once she found out he was married, she should've left him alone until he was a single man.
rated_X_33's picture

Where you been girl??!! lmao

Where you been girl??!! lmao
JMO's picture

Where you been girl??!! lmao

Where you been girl??!! lmao
JMO's picture

LOL, I've been lurking.

LOL, I've been lurking.
rated_X_33's picture

she and her daughter are in

she and her daughter are in my prayers. if her accident was for publicity - she's in my prayers, if she truly tried to end her life, she's in my prayers. i "get" the skepticism but BOTH scenarios are low. in show business, some think publicity is good - good or bad. she's in need of help either way. ....and i hope she does NOT read these comments. IF she is weak, she sure as heyall will need all the strength and support she can get. having people surrounding you, who live off of what you do is a rough one. everybody tryna come up offa her. hearing about this makes me feel truly blessed because all that glitters is obviously NOT gold. one would think her being in the limelight is tres fab, alas, more money, more problems.
bronze vixen's picture

Fantasia please stop it.

Fantasia please stop it. She's riding this sympathy train until the wheels fall off. Apologize to his wife, and then stop talking about it. Just try to promote this crappy album then go sit down somewhere.
Sherm's picture

Stay prayed up Tasia! I am a

Stay prayed up Tasia! I am a single mother and I feel stressed EVERYDAY- but looking at my daughter brings it all in focus. I have had my days of wanting to end it all BUUUUT I have never attempted or even thought of a way to do anything to hurt myself> because jus one look/thought of my daughter gives me HOPE that I can and MUST go on for HER if not myself. What your daughter look like walking around the world ALONE because mommie was too tired of living? NO! I think that people ALLOW certain pressures to form and hender them. TASIA- no one is walking in your shoes - so the judgment and name calling is pointless cause they have no clue. ONLY GOD can judge you and if you seek forgivness then NO one has anything owrth saying....cause GOD is your only judge....IM not perfect and i pray even in the midst of my sin cause GOD aint sleep....
His Grace's picture

Very eloquently put because

Very eloquently put because my comments were anything but nice. However, you make a lot of sense. I think she needs to hear the angry comments b/c all of this mess is bafoonery but she also needs to hear comments like yours. I just don't have it in me today to shoot her a comment like the one you did. Maybe tomorrow. LOL
Jazmine's picture

I personally thought she was

I personally thought she was talented enough WITHOUT all the publicity stunts..but people LOVE drama; willingly accept the truth for a lie; and get mad when you call it the damn lie that it is. (In My Best Maximus Voice) Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?
Anonymous's picture

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