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Steve Harvey: Men Can't Be Friends With Women?!

 

Well here's an interesting convo.  Especially around the Holidays when you see all those exes and "friends" again back home and start to wonder if it could work again. Steve Harvey appeared on CNN to promote his new book 'Straight Talk, No Chaser.' Find out what he had to say about males having female friends when you read on...

 

Steve sat down with CNN's Fredricka Whitfield to talk about his new book on relationships.  I guess hes been deemed the expert after his "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man" book. Watch the video to see his viewpoint on why males can't have female friends.

 

 

Do you agree with Steve? Is it impossible for a male to have a true female friend?  Now I wasn't the biggest Steve Harvey fan after his previous book seemed to just spew common sense at women and expected them to literally buy into. But I admit, I agree with Steve and it's been my philospohphy that after a certain age--males and females who just met cannot be strictly friends.  Meaning--at least 1 party is always willing to be sexually interested to some extent.  Whether they admit it or not.

Your thoughts?

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Comments

WANT YOUR OWN AVATAR? GET IT HERE.

Perhaps i was unclear, I am

Perhaps i was unclear, I am not interested in anything other than a friendly relationship with either of my male friends... the point i was attempting to make was that something a superficial as a physical attraction is in no way worth jeopardizing the real family-like relationship we have developed. I'm attracted to lots of guys that I'm not close friends with... I'll just date one of them!!! Regarding your other comment "Steve never said that u can't be platonic with the opposite sex, if that was the case evrybody would be eff'ing evrybody"... A platonic relationship is by definition a relationship we people share a non-sexual type of love ie; a best friend. a platonic relationship is not just the absence of sex, it's the presence of love sweetie!!!! So what you said makes no sense!!!... Lets not argue for the sake of arguing, it's just petty!!!!
Terri's picture

Let me put in my 2 coins. Yes

Let me put in my 2 coins. Yes men and women can be friends without either of them being gay or unattractive. Not all men who see an attractive female want to get with her. What you may see as a woman who looks like "Halle Berry" another man may just look at her as just a normal chick and just a friend that he doesn't check like that. I think people have that perception that men and women can't be friends because it has never happen to them yet
Kay's picture

Hey girl, looks have nothing

Hey girl, looks have nothing to do with it. Halle Berry can get a man but, she can't keep a man.l
Anonymous's picture

@KAY GIRL THAT WAS ONE OF

@KAY GIRL THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST INTELLIGENT COMMENTS I HAVE EVER READ ON THIS BLOG!!! AND I SO AGREE WITH YOU!!
NO HATE!!!'s picture

It is okay if my man has a

It is okay if my man has a female friend that he's been friends with since they were both young and I DON'T WITNESS any physical chemistry between them. If he meets a new friend (while we are together) at work, on the subway, in the supermarket, wherever; he will need to end that "friendship". He doesn't need any new friends, certainly not female friends. Similarly, I don't need any new male friends. Friends talk on the phone, go out to end, confide in each other, share secrets, and so on and so forth. Those special things are reserved for my man/husband. He should reserve those same things for me. This is ridiculous, if you want to make new friends, you're not ready for a relationship. Seriously, is the new friend going to call at 9pm and discuss work, money, health, parenting issues with him? If that's the case, wtf am I here for????
Anonymous's picture

THANK YOU! Basically echoed

THANK YOU! Basically echoed my comment below. Friends from your younger years is one thing, but at an age where you're in a committed relationship that can lead to marriage, wtf do you need a new friend for? Everything you need to discuss with your "friend" needs to be reserved for your significant other.
Real.'s picture

It's so funny that Miss

It's so funny that Miss November commented that you must be a scorpio, because I read this and I feel the exact same way (I'm a scorpio). Great comment!
Sassy Lady's picture

girl we think alike...you

girl we think alike...you must be a scorpio lol
MissNovember's picture

I'm a Leo and it's crucial in

I'm a Leo and it's crucial in my world!
Anonymous's picture

Let me put in my 2 coins. Yes

Let me put in my 2 coins. Yes men and women can be friends without either of them being gay or unattractive. Not all men who see an attractive female want to get with her. What you may see as a woman who looks like "Halle Berry" another man may just look at her as just a normal chick and just a friend that he doesn't check like that. I think people have that perception that men and women can't be friends because it has never happen to them yet
Kay's picture

Yes...to the person that said

Yes...to the person that said if I would allow my man to go w/ a female to dinner. My guy friends take me out all the time and he hangs w/his girls. By beefing about dinner what's that supposed to mean? He ain't gonna step out if he wants to? Puhleez...I am not in the bizness of keeping nothing that doesn't want to be kept. I cannot lose my sleep or mind going crazy about what he is doing or could be potentially doing. Its a shame because men can learn so much from women and women can learn so much from men. White poeple stay platonic friends...but as black people they act like we are so phuckin savage that if a man says hello to me...that automatically means he wants to phuck? Really? See...this is the bullshyt that poison's the minds of our youth.
lockstress's picture

Lockstress, I agree with

Lockstress, I agree with everything you said, except “white people stay platonic.” Oh, that is sooo not true. Remember the movie, “When Harry Met Sallie?” To me, this not a race issue, but a human issue. You are so right about how some people assume that EVERYTHING is about sex. I’m with you, girl, on if he’s gonna bounce, he’s gonna bounce no matter what.
Ann Droid's picture

Twas I!!! The bad guy!! Lol!

Twas I!!! The bad guy!! Lol! It's called eliminating the situation by not putting yourself in comprimising positions. See, you are going out in a group; I think. But what is YOUR MAN DOING WHILE YOU ARE OUT WITH ANOTHER MAN???....................It doesn't take anything more than one of our male friends to have this conversation: Me: Waddup fam Homie: Chillin. Where's ya wife at? Me: Out to dinner with Brian Homie:.....................................
Colonel Stinkmeaner's picture

i dont agree. a woman can

i dont agree. a woman can have male friends its called friendship. men are less catty and emotional. i have two guy friends and i can depend and talk too them moreso a woman. and ihave plenty of close woman friends./best friends. Men are just very laid back . if youre married your man should be your best guy friend though!
queenmb's picture

The are more laid back and

The are more laid back and less caddy for the opportunitie to get in your pants...hello! and of course they are the opposite sex and they will be less "jealous" than a female because at the end of the day they are there to stroke that EGO of yours while a female friend will more than likely tell you the truth about yourself and think nothing of it!
Hollywood's picture

First off...I could care less

First off...I could care less for Steve Harvey's OPINIONS. I hated his book, and I find him to just be some random man talking, nothing he says resonates with me as profound but to each his/her own. With that said, I think that men and women can definitely be just friends. If he was arguing for it to be improbable versus impossible, then okay, but to say it can never happen and all my male friends even those with girlfriends are all secretly trying to sleep with me or be with me....garbage. I don't know the caliber of man he is or that he associates with, but for me, the dudes I know are not ruled by their libido. Do I know some males who would sleep with me given the chance? Yes...would I really call them friends? No. They're either people who I had an interest in once myself but it didn't work out or something like that, and that to me doesn't count. But the guys I know through school and other arenas, while maybe they think I am attractive and have entertained thoughts, which is not a crime, WE ALL DO, in terms of them consciously waiting for that "crack"...I doubt. Every woman is not every man's type so it's faulty to assume that simply because you're both straight it's gonna go there and I also think that it is faulty to believe that you aren't "real friends" if someone is attracted to you....when did that define a friendship? Infact a romantic relationship for me NEEDS to have a friendship aspect so the 2 aren't mutually exclusive concepts. One can have a friend who one finds attractive but has no interest in dating or sleeping with and even if the thought crosses one's mind, one can live a fulfilling life without ever crossing that line.
Empress's picture

Empress, it is so nice to

Empress, it is so nice to read comments like yours. It shows that people really do have common sense. It’s like men that cheat state, “All men cheat.” They justify their lack of integrity so they make ridiculous generalizations.
Ann Droid's picture

Ha!! It's silly of women to

Ha!! It's silly of women to only say that the men are the only ones throwing it out there......LMMFAO!!!! The female could play the temptress as well!!!! In all honesty, no matter how you look at it, the possibility always swill exist. Be in the man coming on to the female, or the female coming on to the man. The worst is "how come we never hooked up".....GTFOH!!! LOL!! And you allow yours to go out and be with another??? The solution is called avoidance. Remove yourself from the possibility.
Colonel Stinkmeaner's picture

Steve can take him and his

Steve can take him and his suits and suck an egg this is common sense, don't be friends with a woman you find attractive. Duh, now if he wants to hump everything with tits then thats on him. i have great male friends, who i consider brothers and I would neverlook at them that way.
DCMami's picture

He needs to stop. He doesn't

He needs to stop. He doesn't have female friends because he doesn't trust himself not to fuck them, either that or his wife is controlling and doesn't allow it. Why would someone limit their friendships based on gender? ...go on somewhere with that.
Lisa's picture

He needs to stop. He doesn't

He needs to stop. He doesn't have female friends because he doesn't trust himself not to fuck them. ..go on somewhere with that.
Lisa's picture

I think I missed the part

I think I missed the part where just because a person had a physical (or even emotional) attraction to another that it meant the friendship was not real. I guess I missed the part where human beings reverted back to savage beasts and had absolutely no clue how to respect boundaries or avoid temptation as well.
Ivy League's picture

TO ALL WOMEN WHO SAID "YES"

TO ALL WOMEN WHO SAID "YES" TO THE QUESTION "Would you let your boyfriend/fiancee/husband go to dinner with a woman friend WITHOUT you there?": Why would even need to transpire. If they are such good friends, why wouldn't you be there? Is there some catching up that YOU need not know about?
Colonel Stinkmeaner's picture

@Colonel, because I'm not

@Colonel, because I'm not attached to my man's hip. I have my own life. If he and his friend get together, and I can't be there, so be it. If I couldn't trust my man, I wouldn't be with him.
Ann Droid's picture

Okay, so have ladies night.

Okay, so have ladies night. Go out with ya girls. Go unwind with them.
Colonel Stinkmeaner's picture

Of course men and women can

Of course men and women can be friends. I have two male friends - one since I was 13 and one since I was 16 and we all been friends ever since. They never made a pass at me and they're both straight and have been married once. We all felt that we can make it further as friends than as lovers and to this day, they're like brothers to me. I love that!!!
Happy Lady's picture

Steve didn't count childhood

Steve didn't count childhood friends in the equation. Past a certain age and station in life, there are few truly platonic relationships between straight men and women.
SweetDivaT's picture

@Sweet, where are you getting

@Sweet, where are you getting this information from? A survey? A study? I'm trying to engage people as to WHY they believe what they believe, but it's like pulling teeth. Since discussing this topic, no one has stated how they come to believe what they say is FACTUAL. No one has had the guts to go deeper than their opinion. I'm not knocking opinions, but they should be based on facts, not feelings. Just saying.
Ann Droid's picture

I totally agree with Joe men

I totally agree with Joe men and women can definitely be friends. He doesn't know the true meaning of "FRIENDSHIP" not friends with benefits, I can't say I appreciate his opinion or thoughts on friendship because he's talking about something different than just being friends. I can honestly say I have a great female friend an neither one of us are interested in each other were both straight just enjoy eachother's company. Steve host family fued.
greeneyedsoul's picture

Now let’s see, Steve Harvey

Now let’s see, Steve Harvey has been divorced more than Elizabeth Taylor, he was a dog to his first and second wife and met if current wife while married to his last wife and I'm suppose to take advise from his ass? GTFOH!!
Fly1's picture

LMAO!!!

LMAO!!!
Happy Lady's picture

While I don't give Steve

While I don't give Steve Harvey credit for being an expert on anything (besides deacon board suits and overbearing mustaches), I agree 100%. After a certain age, men and women have no business meeting and being close friends. It's different if you have a childhood friend that you've kept through middle & high school, etc, but most adult friendships start as one or or both parties being interested in the other. And once you're in a committed relationship, especially marriage, that mess needs to stop. The worst is keeping a friend you once dated/slept with. No matter how platonic you guys claim to be, your significant other can't be 100% comfortable with that (this goes for both men and women). Co-workers, classmates, or business partners is one thing but after a certain age, you shouldn't need any more friends from the opposite sex.
Real.'s picture

I feel sad for such people

I feel sad for such people with narrow-minded approaches to life. To say that at a certain age, people, because of their gender, can't be friends boggles my mind. At what age do you suppose these friendship should end. The problem I see with so many black people is that we are so myopic. We see the world in such a limited way, thus, we don't grow.
Ann Droid's picture

Com'On Man! 1st off you've

Com'On Man! 1st off you've been married more then Elizabeth Taylor, 2nd you just got you a nice looking wife compared to the others, and 3rd you do not have friends in the industry from my understanding. So how in the world can you make a statement like that? Men and women can be friends our make ups may be different but our views on life could be the same from politics, sports, T.V., and life. Friendship is something that takes generosity, kindness, love, and faith with lot of patience. That's in our D.N.A make up we were born with that so for someone to say males and females cannot be friends is stupid and Steve Harvey has gotten beside himself and not realizing the true meaning of friendship.
Joe's picture

Relationship advice from a

Relationship advice from a comedian - now I've read it all. Imagine what the world would look like if all women refused friendships from men because we believed they all ultimately want to get in our pants. Look around you Steve - for every woman who walks away from those type of friendship - you'll find many who gravitate towards them. I have MANY close male friends who I've known for over 20 years. Most I met when they were single - I have attended many of their weddings, anniversary parties and baby parties. They are like family to me. I been invited to parties thrown by their girlfriends/wives and attended their children games and recitals. Just because we're opposite sex - doesn't mean it will always be about sex. Like I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with ONLY female friends. Grow up Steve! I guess my world is far more complex than yours.
CleoJones's picture

You know what makes a lot of

You know what makes a lot of comedians funny? The fact that they improvise TRUTH to illustrate their jokes. I understand you having these guys that you grew up with your entire life before you met your current situation (if you indeed have one), but do you talk to them on the phone? Go to lunch with them? Do things that "friends" do on the regular? You seen Brown Sugar!!! The Best Man!!! I Think I love my Wife!!
Colonel Stinkmeaner's picture

WOMEN: Ya'll saying ya'll

WOMEN: Ya'll saying ya'll think men and women could be just friends with no chemistry attached right? Well how did they become friends? Something they have in common correct? Anyway, answer this: Would you let YOUR boyfriedn/fiancee/husband go to lunch (not dinner. lunch) with his female friend in a public setting WITHOUT YOU???
Colonel Stinkmeaner's picture

@Colonel - to answer your

@Colonel - to answer your question - Yes, I would. In fact, he does sometimes go to lunch with his female friends. If he wanted her, he could've got with her before we got together. I got to lunch/dinner with male friends of mine. Why does everything have to be sexual in nature? My sister has more male friends than female - one of whom is her play brother. That's how they see each other - as play siblings and NOTHING MORE.
Ann Droid's picture

Yea play cousins,that play

Yea play cousins,that play with each other genitals every once in a while....or at least once...imjs
Hollywood's picture

LMAO....YOUR SOOO NIAVE

LMAO....YOUR SOOO NIAVE HONEY...START TO FOLLOW UP ON HIM AND HER CONVERSATIONS...CHECK THIER TEXT MSGS, EMAILS...HES PROABLY FUCKING HER ON THE REGULAR AND YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW IT....HA HA SILLY ASS WOMEN! THIER LUNCH DATES ARE PROABLY FUCK DATES HONEY! MEN LIKE TO HAVE THIER CAKE AND EAT IT TOO..PPL FOR THAT MATTER...SO IF HOMEGIRL IS COOL WITH BEING A CASUAL JUMPOFF WITH THE BENEFITS OF BEING ABLE TO CALL ON HIM WHEN SHE NEEDS HIM WITHOUT THE COMMITMENT OF BEING HIS "GIRLFRIEND" SHYT SHE AND ANY OTHER FEMALE WOULD TAKE IT...WAKE UP SWEETIE!
Hollywood's picture

So, I’m supposed to listen to

So, I’m supposed to listen to advice from someone who can’t even form a cohesive sentence. Instead of calling someone naïve, I suggest you take that energy and go back to school. Learn to formulate sentences in an intelligent manner. BTW, I’m probably much older than you and have more life experience than you’ll ever have, so watch who you call naïve.
Ann Droid's picture

Com'On Man! 1st off you've

Com'On Man! 1st off you've been married more then Elizabeth Taylor, 2nd you just got you a nice looking wife compared to the others, and 3rd you do not have friends in the industry from my understanding. So how in the world can you make a statement like that? Men and women can be friends our make ups may be different but our views on life could be the same from politics, sports, T.V., and life. Friendship is something that takes generosity, kindness, love, and faith with lot of patience. That's in our D.N.A make up we were born with that so for someone to say males and females cannot be friends is stupid and Steve Harvey has gotten beside himself and not realizing the true meaning of friendship.
Joe's picture

This is what happens when men

This is what happens when men start liking men or simply age to the point that they loose the sexual attraction to women.
Anonymous's picture

Yes, ladies want a

Yes, ladies want a prospective men to have a job. But WHAT he does certainly does matter if you're trying to get with him. Read my latest post on www.those2.com about certain professions that make ladies give men the side eye. www.those2.com If You Don't Get It--It's You
www.those2.com's picture

Yes, ladies want a

Yes, ladies want a prospective men to have a job. But WHAT he does certainly does matter if you're trying to get with him. Read my latest post on www.those2.com about certain professions that make ladies give men the side eye. www.those2.com If You Don't Get It--It's You
www.those2.com's picture

It just can't happen that

It just can't happen that way. I'm speaking from experience. I tried being friends with a few men but it always seemed as if they wanted more. I'd hear that I have a sexiness about myself why wouldn't a man want to sleep with me. Male friends see most women as a piece of meat. The only male friend I will have is the man I'm with. He and I are friends and lovers, not just friends. I can't just be friends with these cats, they be wanting too much.
Say Word!'s picture

It just can't happen that

It just can't happen that way. I'm speaking from experience. I tried being friends with a few men but it always seemed as if they wanted more. I'd hear that I have a sexiness about myself why wouldn't a man want to sleep with me. Male friends see most women as a piece of meat. The only male friend I will have is the man I'm with. He and I are friends and lovers, not just friends. I can't just be friends with these cats, they be wanting too much.
Say Word!'s picture

I have had that exact same

I have had that exact same experience!!
MissNovember's picture

I agree with Steve and same

I agree with Steve and same goes for woman if you are married or in a relationship that person should be the only friend you need , each it's own that friend mess is BS and wack ...
Queendee's picture

New year’s Gift

New year’s Gift ! http://flyingstyle.org http://flyingstyle.org http://flyingstyle.org
dawed's picture

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