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Steve Harvey: Men Can't Be Friends With Women?!

 

Well here's an interesting convo.  Especially around the Holidays when you see all those exes and "friends" again back home and start to wonder if it could work again. Steve Harvey appeared on CNN to promote his new book 'Straight Talk, No Chaser.' Find out what he had to say about males having female friends when you read on...

 

Steve sat down with CNN's Fredricka Whitfield to talk about his new book on relationships.  I guess hes been deemed the expert after his "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man" book. Watch the video to see his viewpoint on why males can't have female friends.

 

 

Do you agree with Steve? Is it impossible for a male to have a true female friend?  Now I wasn't the biggest Steve Harvey fan after his previous book seemed to just spew common sense at women and expected them to literally buy into. But I admit, I agree with Steve and it's been my philospohphy that after a certain age--males and females who just met cannot be strictly friends.  Meaning--at least 1 party is always willing to be sexually interested to some extent.  Whether they admit it or not.

Your thoughts?

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Comments

WANT YOUR OWN AVATAR? GET IT HERE.

Im sorry...but this statement

Im sorry...but this statement right here is sooooooooo true...and like the one person said..its only UNTRUE in two cases:1. The male likes to poked by other males....or 2. they both find each other gross and even in case #2 there is always a CHANCE of something going down...im sorry for the people saying that this is not true...you might be the same one lieing to yourself about your male friends ...at the end of the day there is a chance...and i would NEVER trust my MAN to be friends with another women..cause Im sure something has or will have some type of interest in one another...
Hollywood's picture

Prove that it's true. Unless

Prove that it's true. Unless you can do that (barring your own personal experiences), it's a fallacious argument.
Ann Droid's picture

Steve is not lying... every

Steve is not lying... every male friend i had at some point made a pass at me... never freaking fails... and it pisses me off!!! ugh!
Anonymous's picture

To all of the females on here

To all of the females on here saying "It ain't true" and all that jazz; it is true. Just because your now male friend(s) has not made the move on you, he has at least thought about it, pictured the scenario, is on the DL, or is 100% gay.
Colonel Stinkmeaner's picture

Considering he's on wife #75,

Considering he's on wife #75, I'm not surprised he'd say that.
SnappyOne's picture

That is one of the most

That is one of the most ridiculous comments ever made. When one makes a comment, they should have facts to back them up. Opinions are pointless if they are not factual. Steve is making a fallacious argument. Unless Steve Harvey or anyone else who agrees with him are in the minds of every male/female friendship, to make such a ill-informed statement is myopic and shows a lack of insight to me. It's funny because people act like just because they experience something, everyone else is in the same boat. For example, cheaters always say, "Everyone cheats" knowing that everyone doesn't cheat, but because THEY do, they attribute their lack of character to everyone else. You can have male/female friends you aren't attracted to. I have male friends I wouldn't even think about having sex with. If that's in their minds, I don't know about it because they respect me and my relationship with my man enough not to go there. You mean to tell me that EVERY male/female relationship on the planet has to have a sexual nature attached to it? Come on, now. The problem with our society is that we have become so sexually obsessed that we now have people turning platonic friendships into something sexual. I do not agree with Steve or anyone else with this mindset at all.
Ann Droid's picture

YOU MUST BE ONE UGLY MOFO!

YOU MUST BE ONE UGLY MOFO! Just Kidding. But seriously....
Arbor Mist Is the Bomb!'s picture

The problem with many urban

The problem with many urban blogs is that the caliber of people discussing conversations of this nature is very young and immature. No, I'm not an ugly mofo, but I've lived, probably much longer than you. It's apparent by your elementary comment that you are very young. The issue is that people don't have enough experience or vision to see beyond their faces. Their perspective is limited, thus, they cannot have a decent conversation. It's sad that you had to assume I'm ugly because your thought pattern wouldn't allow you to comprehend anything more. Maybe if people were more open minded and listened, they might learn something instead of living in a cocoon.
Ann Droid's picture

LOL! You're not kidding,

LOL! You're not kidding, you're right. I don't have one male friend, who is actively so (not some guy who is my friend from three years ago and I see him once a year when the crew gets together), who does not want to date me. I'd say after undergrad--when we live on campus together and run in the same circles--and MAYBE grad school, men and women cannot be friends . . . unless the chick is just busted, and even then the guy would probably sleep with her! Wish everyone would stop hating on Steve and asking about his degree. None of us needed degrees to know how women think, why should he need a degree to tell you heifers about men?! We should applaud his honesty, and ability to explain things in a easy to understand, palatable manner.
g..'s picture

@g, the world is full of

@g, the world is full of people beside you and your limited existence. You are saying that the person that made such a rude, stupid comment is right. A you in grad school? This is what they are turning out in grad school. But then again, schools aren't turning out thinkers, just followers. This generation is so screwed because no one taught you to think. We make comments, assume they are true, and we run with it instead of stopping to figure out if the comment is fallacious or not. It's very hard communicating with people like you.
Ann Droid's picture

Thank you! And I am a working

Thank you! And I am a working professional who obtained a graduate degree years ago. I have had many men tell me point blank that they are not friends with women who they do not at least find attractive (unless they find them patently unattractive). I would say that Steve is speaking from a man's perspective and I agree with him not because I'm a follower or can't think, but because I've spoken with many men who agree. While women can be friends with men they don't want to date or sleep with, men really aren't generally built the same way. That being said, I have male friends who aren't interested in me, but they all find me attractive and are part of my larger circle of friends, which is to say if it were up to them to maintain the friendship outside of our circle, I doubt that it would happen. Then again, I'm a Mensa model, so maybe my reality is different from yours. But I think this is a principle that is true the world over. And to all the women saying that people are small-minded for agreeing with Steve, stop being condescending. Sometimes Americans, and particularly first generation educated African-Americans, act as if they can reinvent the wheel of the human experience. Steve is talking about the way that men are wired and he's right. Sure we can evolve and grow, but there are some things that are just innate.
g..'s picture

I think this is the most

I think this is the most IMMATURE b.s. I've ever heard in my life. If after a certain age you don't realize that people are just PEOPLE regarless of gender, age, sexual orientation etc, then that's YOUR issue. I have plenty of woman I consider friends and fine ones at that, but I'm mature and disiplined enough to not cross the line....And why would, I just because she's a woman???? We have to "grown" enough to understand that EVERYBODY of the opposite sex isn't in your life to be "preyed" upon. If you use that approach you may miss the ACTUAL reason or blessing they are to your life. And will y'all stop letting Steve Harvey's 3 times married, abusive (according to his 2nd wife), adultering ass give you life lessons on love....FOH!
fli-die's picture

Agreed! Every male/female

Agreed! Every male/female friendship does not have to be based on sex or wanting to fall into bed...
Anonymous's picture

nigga u gay

nigga u gay
Anonymous's picture

Naw dude ur Gay. Gay folks

Naw dude ur Gay. Gay folks get such a bad rap for being open-minded and culturally efficient. Closed minded folks like yourself will never have a clue if a man or women can be friends. They can by the way; respect, honesty, love and loyalty and don't forget principles can make this happen.
Anonymous's picture

LMMFAO!!

LMMFAO!!
Colonel Stinkmeaner's picture

@fli - I LOVE logical,

@fli - I LOVE logical, thinking people. I cosign to the 100th power!
Ann Droid's picture

AMEN, I dont understand why

AMEN, I dont understand why people think he is an expert on relationships. I really dont like him
agirlnamedclarke's picture

So so so true!! Nothing but

So so so true!! Nothing but the truth you are simply lying to yourself if you don't think this has some truth to it.
Keepin'it reeeal's picture

I disagree- I have plenty of

I disagree- I have plenty of male friends that I have had since a little girl- never had sex with them prior so y all of a sudden now- It all boils down to RESPECT- at this point I see them as brothers and I definitly don't want to have sex with my brothers. He needs to knock it off- anything to sell his book!
heisafool's picture

I hate to say this, but he's

I hate to say this, but he's right. The guys will stick around hoping that one day they will be the shoulder you cry on and try to slip your panties off at the same time...
Anonymous's picture

The majority of my friends

The majority of my friends are male and although a few may have the thought in mind it has never seen the light of day since they all seem to find me intimidating..little me lol
Trinidee's picture

Reality check: MEN ARE NEVER

Reality check: MEN ARE NEVER INTIMIDATED BY WOMEN. when a man wants something he goes after it. But you keep telling yourself that while you watch all your male "friends" marry someone else. They're just not THAT into you.
Mastermind's picture

Don't get it twisted! That is

Don't get it twisted! That is NOT true. Actually most men are intimidated by women, especially the strong women, that's just a story they won't tell. So it's not that they don't want her they may SETTLE for something else that they can handle.
beautiful1's picture

PREACH!

PREACH!
RedGirl's picture

Steve....get chu some lip

Steve....get chu some lip chap and go sat down somewhere with the ignorance! Men and women can certainly be platonic friends. I can't.
lockstress's picture

Men and women can not truely

Men and women can not truely be friends even if one part is gay/lesbian. Someone will always like the other and will not disclose that info.
Mitsy's picture

If I can be friends with a

If I can be friends with a man, then certainly. But personally as a woman, I don't trust other women. But if I got to worry about whether my man is going to stray or not then I don't need his ass either. Eventually they all do. Such a sad circle.
Arbor Mist Is the Bomb!'s picture

Video: Living The Life (Me &

Video: Living The Life (Me & Diddy On The Same Stage) www.freshandsavvy.com
Gamble's picture

I think Steve Harvey's book

I think Steve Harvey's book can probably help those who have never been told BY A MAN how a man thinks, but I don't give him credit for being an expert by any means. And I have several male friends, some are exes, some are co-workers and some are men I've known all my life. Whether either one of us has a sexual agenda or not, doesn't mean we can't be friends. I don't buy into that theory at all. Just like there are different types of friendships amongst same sexes, there are different types of friendships between opposite sexes. Only YOU can determine what is allowed. He needs to shut up on this subject.
anonymous's picture

I think people put too much

I think people put too much time and effort into this 'Can men and women be friends' debate. And ALL self help books are full of common sense. It doesn't matter who writes these books, they all have the same tired advice.
cheriaxe's picture

LLS at this whole

LLS at this whole situation.... Steve has said this a million and one times in different media outlets.... I guess this doesn't applies to me and one of my ex's (and we are true friends). I don't understand why men and women don't think they can't be friends with the opposite sex. I've been friends with my before, during and after our relationship. Just because Steve say it.... doesn't mean it's true for all cases.... you have to evaluate each situation / relationship.... when women say they didn't know that a certain man like them or have fallin' in love with them is freakin' crazy. Either they not paying attention or they don't want to know.... If a man treats you totally different then his homies; then he wants more if he treat you like his homies then homegirl you a homie..... men aren't that hard to figure out especially if you know them! Key fact about men: It's not what they say it's what they do... that's how you can always tell what your position is in their life!
n/a's picture

Sure the things he says in

Sure the things he says in his book/s are common sense. . .but what self-help/relationship book isn't full of stuff we already know?? For some reason people will believe it once it's put in print. As for this particular issue. . .I've been saying this for years. I have male friends, but I'm aware of the fact that at some point all of them have or will want more. Hell, it might even be me. . .but the key is setting those boundaries up front. Once everyone knows where things can or will go, friendship is possible.
HappyToBeNappy's picture

Sure the things he says in

Sure the things he says in his book/s are common sense. . .but what self-help/relationship book isn't full of stuff we already know?? For some reason people will believe it once it's put in print. As for this particular issue. . .I've been saying this for years. I have male friends, but I'm aware of the fact that at some point all of them have or will want more. Hell, it might even be me. . .but the key is setting those boundaries up front. Once everyone knows where things can or will go, friendship is possible.
HappyToBeNappy's picture

Sure the things he says in

Sure the things he says in his book/s are common sense. . .but what self-help/relationship book isn't full of stuff we already know?? For some reason people will believe it once it's put in print. As for this particular issue. . .I've been saying this for years. I have male friends, but I'm aware of the fact that at some point all of them have or will want more. Hell, it might even be me. . .but the key is setting those boundaries up front. Once everyone knows where things can or will go, friendship is possible.
HappyToBeNappy's picture

i agree with him. any one of

i agree with him. any one of my "male friends" with date me or just "smash" if i ask them. dudes will do anything for some you know
yea im me's picture

And your male friends are

And your male friends are probably friends with you because of that mentality right there! If you're in a committed relationship giving up the "you know" to a 'friend' is the point they're arguing about. Each relationship is different and should be handled differently. Men and women CAN be friends and not have sex. Men will only do what we, women, let them. Period.
Anonny's picture

I totally agree with you on

I totally agree with you on that point but I also think that if I'm resolved that friends is all we'll be and it's not moving past that I'm going to enjoy my friendship anyhow
AJ's picture

I totally agree with you on

I totally agree with you on that point
AJ's picture

He is such a PRETENDER!! I

He is such a PRETENDER!! I cannot stand his fake butt.
Anonymous's picture

Somebody said "2. Woman or

Somebody said "2. Woman or man are both unappealing to each other." Not really true. If you around somebody of the opposite sex long enough (months, years, decades) you will eventually find something attractive about them.
Colonel Stinkmeaner's picture

I agree...Eventually someone

I agree...Eventually someone is going to start looking at other differently..ESPECIALLY if that person has been lonely and looking for intimacy emotional or physical..
Anonymous's picture

I agree with you!!!!!!

I agree with you!!!!!!
Anonymous's picture

Somebody said "2. Woman or

Somebody said "2. Woman or man are both unappealing to each other." Not really true. If you around somebody of the opposite sex long enough, months, years, decades) you will eventually find something attractive about them.
Colonel Stinkmeaner's picture

HE AIN'T LYIN'

HE AIN'T LYIN'
DJ's picture

All this means is that he

All this means is that he cheated...
Anonymous's picture

I got his first book on loan

I got his first book on loan from someone, and I didn't finish it. Much like this video, I didn't feel he was imparting any wisdom that the average person wasn't aware of.
WhoAreYou's picture

Yeah they can be friends

Yeah they can be friends provided the following: 1. Dude is flamingly gay and does not like fish 2. Woman or man are both unappealing to each other. Otherwise, either partner will eventually wonder what is wrong with them if neither makes a play at each other. I speak from experience.
flackster's picture

I been tellin my naive friend

I been tellin my naive friend this for the longest...
wow's picture

oh ok.

oh ok.
POLITICALLY INCORRECT's picture

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