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YBF's Top 11 Suggestions For Groupies & Jumpoffs On How To Survive The Lockouts

Groupies and career jumpoffs are weeping everywhere with the announcement of the NBA lockout for the 2012 season.  With us already facing an NFL lockout this fall, it's just getting to be a bit too much for the ladies who make their money and 15 minutes of fame off star athletes.

 

So what's a chick to do when she sees her meal ticket swirling down the professional sports drain?  Since the groupie nation has been so kind to us over the years slipping us private photos and WOW-worthy gossip about certain professional athletes, we've got a few suggestions for you.  Always here to help....

It's just jokes.  But if you're easily offended and not interested, skip this post. 

11. Attend a charity event and PRAY Russell Simmons is there. You might just get "chose" that month.

10. Get a real job where a paycheck stub is involved. We have a few "stylists" and "publicists" we can refer you to for further advice.

9. Try out a new sport where there is less competition. Become a Volleyball groupie or Olympic Swimmer groupie. Don't sleep on the "other" money. 

8. Get to your closest computer, iPad, phone, or camera and leak some naked pictures. It has worked for your predecessors.

7. Contact Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and/or Gloria Allred to see if they can help you because you have been "wronged."

6. Start a Former Groupie Support Group (for those who need help letting go).

5. Sleep with Commissioners David Stern and/or Roger Goodell to end the lockout. Don't act as if you all of a sudden care about a wedding ring....

4. Email/Contact Katt Williams to see if he's looking for recruits.

3. Finally go get that "checkup" at the clinic.

2. Make a cameo on "Single Ladies".... their standards for extras and walk-ons are "doable."

1. Ask Fantasia how to snag a married hottie who may not have enough cash for YOU...but his family discount on his phone plan is SERIOUS.  Just to hold you and your finances over for a bit....

*BONUS that could help our country as a whole*: Read to your children (or teach your NBA player to read).
 

Good luck in the off season!

Comments

WANT YOUR OWN AVATAR? GET IT HERE.

LOL love it. You might need

LOL love it. You might need to send that top ten to David Letterman
Anonymous's picture

this is the most basic post

this is the most basic post I've ever seen on this site. & HELL NAW I'm not a groupie.
Anonymous's picture

NBA & NFL groupies are simple

NBA & NFL groupies are simple and basic broads. If a chick is truly SOL b/c of the lockouts, her game is not as on point as she may believe. Going after men who write checks, business owners, quiet millionaires with long and secure money (how could a chick feel secure knowing that one slip of the disc and it's over) is the real way to go.
Anonymous's picture

OR THEY COULD CONTACT MS.

OR THEY COULD CONTACT MS. SHAUNIE TO SEE IF SHE NEED NEW BLOOD FOR "BASKETBALL WIVES". CUZ CLEARLY U DONT HAVE WIFE TO BE ON THE SHOW. JUST HAVE A BUNCH OF FREE TIME TO EAT IN EVERY SCENE AND BE ABLE TO YELL AND CURSE ON QUE. SMH.
HeyYoggie's picture

Ok, you know Shaunie will

Ok, you know Shaunie will give her a spot on the show, lol
Anonymous's picture

LOL LOVE IT BUNCHES!!!! YALL

LOL LOVE IT BUNCHES!!!! YALL CRAZY........SMH
HeyYoggie's picture

This is not funny for a

This is not funny for a groupie like myself, I think I am goin set my sights on hockey or wnba, wait those chicks don't make real money, anyhoo con't on
2cute4u's picture

LMBO LMBO LMBO LMBO...I'm

LMBO LMBO LMBO LMBO...I'm gonna repost this on my blog!!!! ahah http://givingherhers.blogspot.com
Jojo's picture

Damn what im gonna do

Damn what im gonna do now....i was just about to start an occupation in groupism
Anonymous's picture

Its always the fat,loud, bad

Its always the fat,loud, bad body, ugly, ghetto,no personality or no class having girls that couldn't catch the trash man even if she was standing in the dumpster that likes to talk ish about girls that mess with ballers.. Get over it! If you could (but can't because you are facially challenged) you would too!
NFLWIFE's picture

y shout out fantasia. shlda

y shout out fantasia. shlda put ALICIA KEYS homewreckin-jumpoff-turned-wifie ass in dere.... dis story look lke sum ish i would c on MEADIATAKEOUT.COM..... yall need 2 do betta
Anonymous's picture

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Anonymous's picture

==== www.ceohappy.com

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Anonymous's picture

just saw chrisbrown's ass at

just saw chrisbrown's ass at http://kelsnetwork.blogspot.com/
jane's picture

==== www.ceohappy.com

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Anonymous's picture

I just laughed for 3 minutes

I just laughed for 3 minutes straight. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dessandj/300067183958?ref=hnav
Mary's picture

lol funny stuff

lol funny stuff
AMBRIELLE's picture

"Don't sleep on that other

"Don't sleep on that other money" LMMFAO! Cassi c!
Ms. Snit's picture

Why does everybody constantly

Why does everybody constantly always talk about Fantasia being a homewrecker like she was the only one. Little miss perfect Alicia Keys was the biggest one this year but because shes so "deep" it goes unnoticed. Just because she married Swiss does not make it right and Fantasia has even tried to end her own life because of comments like this and yet you guys talk mess about her relentlessly. Its pathetic how a black website downtalks another black person for being human and making mistakes.
Anonymous's picture

I AM SO SICK OF HEARING ABOUT

I AM SO SICK OF HEARING ABOUT ALICIA AND FANTASIA BEING HOMEWRECKERS!!!! I MEAN REALLY, DID SWISS NOT HAVE A BABY OUT OF WEDLOCK B4 ALICIA CAME ALONG??? I GUESS MASHONDA COULD GET OVER THAT ONE BEING THAT SHORTY DIDNT HAVE ANY MONEY :) AND LAST I CHECKED... THE DUDE FANNY IS WHITH... WELL DID NOT IT NOT COME OUT DURING HER COURT HEARING THAT OL' WAS CHEATING ON HER HUSBAND WITH A MARRIED MAN??? OOH MY BAD , MAYBE I WASN'T SUPPOSE TO MENTION THAT!!! OH WELL. LAST AND FINAL QUESTION; WHEN WILL YOU ALL HOLD THE MEN IN THESE RELATIONSHIPS RESPONSIBLE??? THEY WERE THE ONES WHO TOOK THE VOWS TO BEGIN WITH.
Anonymous's picture

POW!!!! AND YOU RIGHTDON'T

POW!!!! AND YOU RIGHTDON'T BLAME THE WOMEN BLAME THE STUPID MEN!!!
Anonymous's picture

Agreed!

Agreed!
TheTruth.com's picture

or they can go to

or they can go to balleraddict.....com
Leya's picture

I guess you gotta do

I guess you gotta do something to give the ghetto brawds a chuckle. Cause this shit aint funny.
Anonymous's picture

It's broad. Now that's funny.

It's broad. Now that's funny.
Anonymoustoo's picture

I know how to spell. I also

I know how to spell. I also know how to push "post" only ONCE!
Anonymous's picture

It's broad. Now that's funny.

It's broad. Now that's funny.
Anonymoustoo's picture

It's broad. Now that's funny.

It's broad. Now that's funny.
Anonymoustoo's picture

It's broad. Now that's funny.

It's broad. Now that's funny.
Anonymoustoo's picture

It's broad. Now that's funny.

It's broad. Now that's funny.
Anonymoustoo's picture

It's broad. Now that's funny.

It's broad. Now that's funny.
Anonymoustoo's picture

It's broad. Now that's funny.

It's broad. Now that's funny.
Anonymoustoo's picture

It's broad. Now that's funny.

It's broad. Now that's funny.
Anonymoustoo's picture

It's broad. Now that's funny.

It's broad. Now that's funny.
Anonymoustoo's picture

It's broad. Now that's funny.

It's broad. Now that's funny.
Anonymoustoo's picture

It's broad. Now that's funny.

It's broad. Now that's funny.
Anonymoustoo's picture

It's broad. Now that's funny.

It's broad. Now that's funny.
Anonymoustoo's picture

It's broad. Now that's funny

It's broad. Now that's funny too!
Anonymoustoo's picture

It's broad. Now that's funny

It's broad. Now that's funny too!
Anonymoustoo's picture

Tell um why you mad groupie.

Tell um why you mad groupie.
Anonymous's picture

Funny.org!!!!!!

Funny.org!!!!!!
Anonymous's picture

SO YOU MAKE YOUR MONEY OFF

SO YOU MAKE YOUR MONEY OFF THESE MEN BY BLOGGING ABOUT THEM. BUT WHEN A WOMAN CAN JUST ATTRACT HIM YOU WANT TO HATE. DONT BE MAD BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET A REAL STORY JUST ON YOUR OWN NATURAL SKILLS. NO, YOU GOTTA FOLLOW THEM AROUND FROM CLUB TO CLUB CITY TO CITY AND HIDE IN URINAL STALLS JUST TO SNAP A PHOTO TO GOSSIP ABOUT. WHEN AN ATTRACTIVE FEMALE CAN GET AS CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITHOUT ALL THE SNEAKING AROUND. THOSE WHO CAN, ARE LABELED GROUPIES. AND THOSE WHO CAN'T JUST WRITE ABOUT IT. TWEET ON HATER.
Umustbitter's picture

it is rude

it is rude
Anonymous's picture

LMFAO. This ish is

LMFAO. This ish is fuuuunnnny!
Anonymous's picture

Natasha you are a freakin',

Natasha you are a freakin', creative genius? That was right on time.
Anonymoustoo's picture

sarcasm?

sarcasm?
Coldplayer's picture

not sarcasm just the

not sarcasm just the truth...U praise a black man for finding a black woman with no money but when a black woman does it she's stupid for laying with a man who isn't famous...
Anonymous's picture

The fantasia comment was a

The fantasia comment was a low blow...didn't see no body taking these type of shots at women *who aren't famous* that got famous men...why so quiet?
Anonymous's picture

I love it. But it’s a shame

I love it. But it’s a shame we don’t degrade dumb athletes who end up with these groupies…Fools roll in pairs after all. Share the hate and sarcasm equally
Anonymous's picture

TRUE STORY. BECAUSE THEY ARE

TRUE STORY. BECAUSE THEY ARE TRULY THE BUTT OF ALLLLLLLLL THE JOKES. LMAO =))
Anonymous's picture

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