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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Tamera Mowry-Housley Dishes On Advice For Brides, Interracial Dating Haters, & Why She Chose Celibacy

Because we LOVE a good wedding around these parts...

We've loved her since her "Sister, Sister" days.  And we got to see Mrs. Tamera Mowry-Housley's wedding with hubby Adam play out in all its tearful glory on her & twin sis Tia's reality show, "Tia & Tamera."  We found out more on their part-drama, part-sex deprived, ALL romantic nuptials that took place this past spring.  AND she's dishing up advice specifically for YBF reader Brides-To-Be.. 

By the way, this chick has the most contagious (and plentiful) laugh in the business.....

Tamera, let's get right to it.  You and [your husband] Adam got slammed with hateful comments and criticism about your interracial relationship.  Especially as soon as your engagement photos hit the net. Why did you choose to release the photos?  How did you all deal with the negativity?

It's something I wanted to share with Adam, our fam and friends, and years down the line with our kids.  There's something, I think, special about that.  I wanted them to see something more than just us in our wedding attire.  I didn't feel like we shouldn't have put them out--I was just shocked that some people still feel that way.  It's 2011!  They did a poll recently and 83% of Americans are OK with interracial relationships.  I never expected that kind of negative response to us.  That's why I was OK with our wedding photographer (Jose Villa) putting those pics on his website.  He was ok with them, and I was ok with them.

Did all the hate overshadow your happiness about the photos?

It didn't ruin anything for me.  If anything, it just shed light on the fact people feel that way...and that's their opinion. The fact of the matter is--if you have 99.9% who see it with positivity, and you're gonna have that .1% who don't.

My husband had the best response to that on the show.  He said 'That's not our issue.  That's their issue.  So they can deal with that.'  From now on, I'm just focusing on the people who love us and suport us.  Which are MANY people.  And that's also the case with life--there will always be naysayers.

 

You mentioned on your show that you and Adam decided not to shack up.  Does that mean you went the Sherri Shepherd route and decided not to sex it up either?

I'll be very very honest. (Laughs embarrassingly)  We decided, it was both of our decision, not to live together for religious reasons.  I'm being very honest. We actually didn't wait before we got married to be intimate...but we did wait 3 years. (The two have been together for 6 years). I wanted to do what felt right for me.  I became re-virginized. It's something that just felt right for me. It was just a personal choice.  And even after being intimate, we decided as a couple to be celibate until the wedding.

 

We need the details on your wedding attire.  That gorgeous dress, your shoes, everything.

My dress was Carolina Herrera.  I wanted Carolina Herrera because everyone seemed to be going the Vera Wang route.  And Carolina Herrera exemplifies elegance...and I felt like a woman.  It was sexy, but not too sexy.  It was sophisticated, elegant, and it was CLASSIC.  You'll look at that picture and it'll look great forever!

My shoes...I wanted something blue because at Tia's wedding [to actor Cory Hardrict], it was really hard to find something blue. So I really wanted to make sure I had it.  And what's so funny about that, I ended up having SO many things something blue. My good friend Candace Cameron ("Full House") got me THE cutest little dainty blue Cosabella panties that said "Mrs. Housley"!  And Mindy Weiss, my wedding planner, put "I Do" in blue rhinestones underneath my blue shoes!

So your something old, something borrowed, etc. were all wrapped up in what you were wearing that day?  What were the rest of the things--so our brides can get ideas.

My Something New were these cross earrings Tia got me. And my Something Borrowed...Oh my Gosh!  I didn't have anything borrowed! Oh my God.  [Mini-freak out session and laughter ensues]

[More laughs] Wait...we're just going to act like you did...and skip over it. You're going to lose your mind if you keep thinking about it!

[Laughs] Oh my gosh I can't believe this!  WAIT WAIT...Something Borrowed were my other earrings!

How would a bride--like the girls on Bridezillas--deal with the drama and hate from within their own family or circle of friends when it comes to the wedding.  You seemed to be very stressed during the whole process.

Well that's a misconception.  My family LOVES Adam.  My mom...just thinks he's the best thing ever. My brother Taj and Adam are so close.  We even did this test (LAUGHS HARD).  I used to be jealous because when the three of us are together, I don't exist. I'm like "Helllllo I'm here.  I'm your wife!" They connect on a different level.  I even did this test to see who Taj would text first.  I said Adam...let's text Taj at the same time and see who he'll text back first--he texted Adam first.

My brother Tavior--they hang out by themselves and my husband watches his scrimmage games at UC Davis. 

I never had to deal with hate that way.  My family and my extended family--they love this man.  And I'll tell you this: What's so great is that my aunts and cousins when they first met him, said this is a man who does not see color.  He's comfortable around EVERYBODY.  Adam speaks fluent Spanish, he loves culture and knows what's going on in the world. My family welcomed him with open arms. The stresses that I had were the stresses I put on myself.  If I could tell brides anything--it's DON'T STRESS about the little things!  People tried to tell me that, but....

 

What was you all's FIRST DANCE song at the reception?

It was Journey's "Faithfully."  My husband and I always travel up to Northern California--he had a place there--and we always listened to that song.  It's about a man who travels a lot.  But always loves his significant other and comes right back.

Oh, and Adam is a HUGE LL Cool J fan.  He was set on having LL in the wedding some way. So he wanted "Going Back To Cali" played, it's his favorite song.  So my brother choreographed a dance that we all did at the wedding.  We had our slow dance, then we broke out into LL Cool J.  It was hilarious.  Oh my gosh.

 

Now, what do you say to a bride who has a tight budget? If 10K-20K is her budget.  And she can't do $1 more.

Well if it's an outside wedding--I say budget for a tent.  I was really naive.  Whether there would be rain in Napa in May wasn't even a question for me because I've been there several times in May and there was never even a cloud in sight. (The couple's wedding took place May 15th, 2011 in Yountville, CA.)  But leading up to my wedding, there was rain, hail, it was 40 degrees, I might as well had gotten married in January!

But if you only have a set amount like $20K for your wedding, and not a $1 more, think about all the things that COULD happen.  And plan for it.  Had I known rain could have happened, I would have budgeted for a tent and not done some other things.  Instead I had to tack on several thousand more last minute for it.

So did Style channel pay for your wedding?

Nope--I paid for it all myself.

That's the way to do it so you get and do everything YOU want.  Now, you were extremely upset on the show about going over your budget.  But people would say "You're Tamera Mowry--you have a few more G's to kick in." Was it just the stress of everything weighing on you?

Well the thing is...I'm actually very frugal. My business manager always says he wishes he had clients like me. Just because you have some money doesn't mean you have to spend it.  My mom and dad raised me up to be that way.

I'm the type of person where--like me and Adam were living in my condo, but we JUST bought a house.  I could have had my own house before but...

 

So what do you feel about the people like Kim Kardashian and Star Jones who had a publicity circus around their  weddings.

Well, I think because I just chose to keep certain moments of the wedding private, it's just different.  The actual wedding was not filmed for the show.  I wanted it private.  Before and after the ceremony was shown though.  My whole life, almost, I've been in a fishbowl.  So this was something intimate and I wanted to keep it that way. But I still wanted to share some aspects of it with my fans.  I didn't want to bring you guys all this way just to not show you anything.

And Adam's family, of course, paid for the traditional stuff they're supposed to pay for-- like the rehearsal dinner and all of that. Adam did help with the music.  He wanted a band AND a DJ--so he got that himself. [Laughs]  We had my favorite Hip Hop dee-jay DJ Big Von from San Francisco.  It was phenomenal.

 

Give us a peek into what a newly married woman feels like.  I always wanted to know a bride's thoughts the very next day.  Happiness, REGRET even (laughs). What was the very first thing you did the next morning as Mrs. Housley?  Brush your teeth extra happy....cook him breakfast....what?

Well, we were actually in our hotel room still.  We went straight to our Honeymoon the next morning (in Greece).  Honestly, I woke up the most peaceful I have ever been in my entire life.  And......(cracks up laughing) Adam and I had waited for a while to...you know....so....[trails off with laughter]. 

Ya'll had some catching up to do!

We did!  It was like an "A-ha" moment.  It was amazing.  [Laughs]  I was the most peaceful I've ever been.  Just so happy to be a wife.

 

What are the three IMPERATIVE things every bride must have WITH her at the wedding on her day?

A lot of women forget this--make sure you have the right undergarments.  Don't be afraid to splurge and go to a lingerie specialist. Get the right bodice, Spanx--you CANNOT leave without your Spanx--it just keeps it smooth and SUCKED in and you look great. [Laughs]

Another thing is, carry your memories with you of why you two are getting married.  And carry a clear mind--make sure you're totally present.

Then make sure you have your sidekick--your girlfriend, your maid of honor, your mom, whoever it is, RIGHT THERE by your side. Someone who you can look at in the eye and have their support.  My mom wasn't on the reality show because she didn't want to be.  She's so private.  But my mom was with me every step of the way.  So supportive.

 

What advice didn't you get that you figured out along the way?

That's a very good question.....Oh!  That you were going to be SO emotional!  No one prepared me for that.  I watched Nick Lachey and Vanessa Manillo's wedding and she was emotional too. 

And Tia wasn't emotional at her wedding.  I mean...I'm a girly girl.  And she's not really.  So I wasn't even prepared for that. The advice I would give is--you're going to have to make a lot of decisions.  But they don't have to be perfect!

And Tia kept trying to tell you that throughout the entire season!

I know!  I know....a bride should just step away and try to listen to what others are trying to tell you.  Take heed.

 

What's your advice on dealing with in-laws?  You now that can be a doozy....

My in-laws are amazing!  They spoil me so much.  I have the best sister-in-law.  She's my friend.  We're both in interracial marriages.  She was actually on the show, we just didn't get to introduce her.  She was in my bridesmaid pictures (shown above)--she's Filipino.  And I love that since she's in an interracial marriage as well, we can bond on that.  She's just amazing.  I love her.

 

Our YBF readers who are currently planning their weddings sent in questions for you.  Here's 3 of them for you to answer.

Oh I love this!

Ok. Shanelle Armstrong asked "I am getting married on May 12, 2012.  Destination is Mexico. My question is - what is one thing that if you had to do all over at your wedding that you would have done differently or not at all."

You know what..I don't regret anything.  And I think the lesson to be learned here is that things will not all go right. You will not have a perfect wedding.  But, just because you don't have a perfect wedding, does not mean it won't be amazing.  My wedding was amazing. I don't regret anything.

Jasmine Pettaway asked, "I'm getting married Fall 2012.  What's the top 3 things brides should do to prepare for their big day?"

One, I would say def have a trial session for hair and makeup.  So you're not worried about how that's going to look--you know it's going to look amazing.  The other thing is, based on what I said before, whether it's stretching, meditating, reading, definitely clear your mind.  So you can be present and remember everything.  It goes by so fast!  And the other thing--HAVE FUN!  Remember, you're marrying the man of your dreams and just let go!  Let everything go--your worries, your fears, let it go!  And have fun.

Dee Dee asked, "My fiance and I want to have a nice, elegant wedding, but we can't afford anything huge. How can we have the wedding of our dreams without breaking our bank?"

Well the reader wants an actual wedding.  But I have a friend who went to her favorite place--you can go anywhere--and brought a couple of close friends and family.  And got married there.  Then she had the reception in her backyard using the money she saved.  You can have your fave restaurant cater, you can set everything up yourself, and you can make something look elegant for not a lot of money.  It was one of our fave receptions ever.

You have to be creative.  Adam and I had a photobooth set up and had costume pieces for our friends to put on.  And my friend, for her wedding, went to Cost U Less and stitched her guests' names on the bottom of their glasses.  So they could take them home as favors.

That's a wrap!  I know you're going to talk about making a baby your next move on the finale tonight, but for the record, you all are definitely ready?

Yes!  I love children.  Seeing my sister with Cree--he is absolutely adorable.  I do want to focus on our marriage right now just because I'm having so much fun.  And I know once you have a baby, you die to yourself. [Laughs]  That's it!  It's all about the baby.

Check out all of Tamera & Adam's wedding photos HERE.  And don't forget to tune-in to watch the season finale of Tia & Tamera TONIGHT 9/8c only on The Style Network! Here's some sneak peeks:

 

The time has arrived for Tia and Cory to head to the hospital to deliver the baby! Get a peek at the big day:

  

Tia starts furiously packing up the house to move her family to Atlanta--while Tamera does a little family planning of her own:

Comments

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I personally wish anyone all

I personally wish anyone all the happiness in the world, and he's HER personal choice, so that's that, besides Isn't she Bi racial/multi-racial anyway? , so how can it be an interracial relationship, if she's half white herself. Its like Paula Patton, she's biracial as well but they generally seem to go the "white" route, you just don't see many biracial men/women with full African American partners... and I am a black woman, so this is not a diss to my sisters, just an observation. :o)
SabrinaBree's picture

Very nice couple, he is

Very nice couple, he is handsome and she is beautiful. All the best in the future
Anonymous's picture

I wish she had married a

I wish she had married a black DUDE.....period. I cant picture MYSELF with PALE, QUAIL AND PASTY. HAHAHA
Anonymous's picture

I absolutely love the fact

I absolutely love the fact that you are in an interacial relationship!!! Im a black woman and I was married to a latin man. I can't believe that people are still hating on interacial couples! GET OVER IT! This wonderful man came into her life and made her the happiest woman and no one should take that from her or anyone for that matter.
Chey's picture

*sigh* I would like to know

*sigh* I would like to know why black people are the first ones to hate on interracial relationships? To reiterate....she is BIRACIAL. So even if she married a black guy she would still be in an interracial relationship. I am married to a FINE AFRICAN MAN from Liberia and I am proud to have him. I love his ashy skin and his big lips and he loves my pasty skin and cold hands. Our babies are absolutely gorgeous and I wouldnt change anything
Anonymous's picture

Why are black people so

Why are black people so embarrassingly ghetto and ignorant? God, the majority of you need to go crawl back under that rock in "the hood" and stay there.
HateGhettoPeople's picture

And this is why the world is

And this is why the world is never going to get any better because ignorant immature idiots like you still live in it. First of all, I'm not ghetto so this makes you ignorant because you know nothing. And don't even talk about embarrassing cause white people embarrass themselves all the time, especially when alcohol is in their system. And are you mad because she found someone that makes her happy while you're probably still miserable? lol you're a funny person. But I'm not going to hate every white person because one decided to act upon something he/she does no know. You seem like a very narrow minded person... I feel sorry for you. So, I'll forgive your lack of intelligence.
Anonymous's picture

Who the FCUK are you to judge

Who the FCUK are you to judge anyone ? Why don't YOU drop off the face of the dayum planet !
Anonymous's picture

Adam is a sweetheart, so calm

Adam is a sweetheart, so calm and seems loving, patient and humble. Something about him is sexy. I like them as a couple. I enjoyed this story and love their show, Tia is a bit much for me. Tamera is my favorite. Shes a romantic and I like that.
Anonymous's picture

Tamara has alot of growing up

Tamara has alot of growing up to do and i cant believe this ungrateful trick booted her sister, her twin, her best friend Tia from being maid of honor for some temporary fat b*****. No matter what her sister has been there for her since the time she was in her mothers womb.
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Green Bay Packers jerseys's picture

I hate to say it but Tamara

I hate to say it but Tamara is just the boring uninteresting twin and wants attention. Why is she even talking about this anymore. You come from a interracial back ground and married a white man so what. You already know how some blacks and whites feel about that. So move on . It's so obvious that Tia is the stronger wiser mature twin because if she were the one that married a white guy she would not be as silly as this one is and make it a topic. I have never meet a set a twins yet that have not shown me that it is always one w/ the better interesting personality and the other one is always lacking something and is the weaker personality. It never fails every set of twins I've met I have liked one and not so much the other. Tamara is a likable girl but Tia is the Favorite twin and even on the show sister sister was always my favorite one. Tamara needs to get a acting gig and stop responding to negative comments about her interracial marriage. Get over it!
DATRUTH's picture

Amen! What you said. Tia is

Amen! What you said. Tia is prettier too. Tamera has a stick up her azz. Something about her I do NOT like. She is riding the coattails of her twin starring on The Game too. She needs to do her own thing if she claims to be so different from her sister. Also, this is off topic but Tia looks like Sammi from the Jersey Shore. Sammi looks like she has black in her tho.
Anonymous's picture

It amazes me, how personally

It amazes me, how personally involved some people are in the lives of others. I felt that her interview was honest and transparent. I applaud her and Adam's decision to introduce celibacy in their relationship. There are STILL women and men who have taken a vow of Celibacy, and are waiting on the One. Our society should be proud to see women on tv who are not fighting or backbiting with each other. When we as a people (of African descent) learn how to love ourselves unconditionally, we will be able to accept others. In the words of RuPaul, "what you think about me is none of my damn business."
Inmy30'sandstillwaiting's picture

Nice post!

Nice post!
IHeartDY's picture

Concur

Concur
loverosebloom's picture

... love vs. the world ... a

... love vs. the world ... a sigh!
rebellious soul 's picture

Why da HELL!!!!! did she wear

Why da HELL!!!!! did she wear a WHITE dress!!! She is no virgin! If she wants to spill and tell all her business she should not have worn white and for him to allow her to pay for the wedding speaks volumes. Bullcrap @ women paying is traditon. We are not in archaic times or living in a third world country where the women's family pays by giving the grooms family a damn cow....GTFOH...His cheap azz should have paid. BOTTOM LINE!
Anonymous's picture

Like most ignorant

Like most ignorant people..you should do your homework before posting a comment. The virgin aspect of a wedding is wearing a VEIL and NOT wearing white. So much negativity in you comment. WOW.
Anonymous's picture

Like most ignorant

Like most ignorant people..you should do your homework before posting a comment. The virgin aspect of a wedding is wearing a VEIL and NOT wearing white. So much negativity in you comment. WOW.
Anonymous's picture

Congrats!! Tia I am getting

Congrats!! Tia I am getting married in the Bahamas on November 9th 2011. I am also in an interracial relationship and we as a couple receive hateful racist comments and most of the comments come from the black community. I love my fiance and we are happy with each other. He is white and I am Black to say the least. We see the color difference but love has no color. So Go on and live your life and let the haters be haters.
meme's picture

Congratulations to a lovely

Congratulations to a lovely Christian valued couple...may God bless your marriage and to yall who have a problem with her marrying a white guy - GET A LIFE! Who's on earth is gonna wait for an unwanting, apprehensive, fearful lame and afraid of marriage black guy to propose. If she's found a great guy leave them alone. I wish I could find a decent and faithful MAN on this earth regardless of colour.
DIMPLES's picture

I could personally care less

I could personally care less if her husband is white, but he could at least be attractive. yea I said it...
ChiLover15's picture

Ms. Lady I love you and your

Ms. Lady I love you and your sister so much, I am so proud of you two. Live your life because the opinion of other people does not matter. If you love Adam, enjoy him to the fullest. Those are just haters out there. Color has no barrior. It's what is in the heart that count.
Renee P.'s picture

congrats, and who cares whos

congrats, and who cares whos dating or going to marry who? White, Black, green, rich stupid poor, who cares just be happy.
i told u so.com's picture

To these celebs who other

To these celebs who other folks of a different race: Please do yourself a favor and please STOP with this bullshit advice! Do you! Don't nobody care you went out and go somebody white. I mean come on. Just stfu have some babies and LIVE! Why do these celebs do this shit? Its annoying as fuck.
Diva's picture

Would it be possible to get

Would it be possible to get that in English next time?! Interracial dating is not the problem with our community... it's people who are too lazy to use proper grammar.
Denise's picture

I have less of a problem with

I have less of a problem with black women dating/marrying outside the race than black men doing it, but if she believes that stat about 83% of americans not having a problem with it, she's crazy...what people say in a poll and what they truely believe are very often two different things!
smartblackgirl's picture

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Anonymous's picture

it amazes (and really

it amazes (and really disappoints) me, that no matter what white ppl do, you can always find a good house n%&&* to defend white ppl. Just like the black ppl in africa, who caught the slave for the white ppl, to ship them to america. I guess in ur world everything is okay! get real ppl. these white folks dont like her, or us. i aint never seen her in not white movies, tv shows or anything else. heck even her brothers show was on the WB, so white hollywood never accepted her, or her family. the reason she gave this interview to theybf, is bcuz no other magazine wanted it. we should be tired of making black stars, and try run to the burbs. tony morrison, and the black community made taye diggs, stella, the wood, best man. i dont care what you say, all of those movies are geared towards a black audiences. we are to blame. we have to start holding these ppl accountable. we have to make them start to invest in our neighborhoods. if not, all of these black folks who get a lil money are gonna do the same thing
Anonymous's picture

Please check your heart

Please check your heart because it sounds like it might be frozen from egoism. I'm just saying.
rebellious soul 's picture

rebellious soul, THANK YOU SO

rebellious soul, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM, it's a dog gone shame the hate filled and spiteful comments posted on this page about a woman and man, the majority of these negative posters know absolutely NOTHING about. A truly sick and twisted society who if they were in Tamera's shoes would feel just as bad (and sad) about anyone writing such filthy comments about. You folks need to get a life and ask God's forgiveness, because you're going to reap the nasty, hate filled mess that you've sown and I can make you a guarantee it won't be so pretty. Kudos and God bless to Tamera and her husband. EM
Anonymous's picture

Please check your heart, it

Please check your heart, it might be frozen with egoism ... I'm just saying.
rebellious soul 's picture

I dont see why you are so

I dont see why you are so angry at Tamera...first of all, she is half Black, half White. So is this REALLY and interracial relationship?? Secondly, she is a happily married woman to a man that makes her face light up she she talks about him. Why you mad???
KeMiHaLo's picture

I agree, if she is in love

I agree, if she is in love and happy, who are we to say anything.... This is why the world is the way it is, is because to many ppl are haters... I say leave them alone and let them be happy...
Anonymous's picture

You're forgetting one small

You're forgetting one small fact. Tia and Tamera are BI-RACIAL!!! Their father is white. So calling them a house n*&&a is totally unacceptable. What are they supposed to do? Deny who they are? Just because she brushes off they naysayers, like you, doesn't make her weak, or an obedient Black girl. It makes a strong woman who ignores ignorance...
Elle's picture

I love Cory, he seems like a

I love Cory, he seems like a great husband. So far on the reality show, he's been very supportive. I like when she says she wants to do something, he's always 'like ain't nothing to it but to do it/we'll make it happen'. Plus he is FUNNY!!! I don't know much about Tamera's hubby but she's happy and that's what matters.
ladyv's picture

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www.bellefemmefashions.com's picture

It's 2011 people...Get over

It's 2011 people...Get over the color thing...The ignorant comments make you a racist...Love does not see a color...If this man treats her the way she should be treated, then I'm happy for her..
Anonymous's picture

Her father is white! It's

Her father is white! It's ludicris to think that her love interest, even her spouse wouldn't be white.... smh at the ignorance!
Anonymous's picture

Hey, I met a man who are 6'3"

Hey, I met a man who are 6'3" on a dating service -- Tal l meet. C ó M --. He wants to see me and even have fun with me, but i am only 5'6". I don't know whether I should go to see him though I love tall guys. He said to me that all girls on that site are seeking fun with tall guys.!!!!!!!!
lovers's picture

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Aretew's picture

Tamera I'am a fan of you and

Tamera I'am a fan of you and Tia Cory Hardrict and Tahj you should not care what people say about your interracial marriage did you mom and dad had this happen if so they did not let it get to them they had each other back just like your brother in law Cory got Tia back and Adam have you back and you have his back aslo. So I'am just happy for you to and that's all that matters.
 Jessica Walker's picture

I can't picture myself with

I can't picture myself with pale and pasty.....I just can't....and their hands are always clammy....to each his own though.... : )
moonjunepearl's picture

.... 'egoism vs. egotism'

.... 'egoism vs. egotism'
rebellious soul 's picture

Preach! AND their blood is

Preach! AND their blood is cold like reptile.
Anonymous's picture

Please examine your heart

Please examine your heart because your heart sounds like it's sick.
rebellious soul 's picture

wow thats an extremely racist

wow thats an extremely racist thing to say
The New Mrs K's picture

That is so freaking ignorant

That is so freaking ignorant I swear. I bet you'd be the first to have an issue if someone white said.. I can't picture myself with someone dark and dusty. Their hair is always nappy and their lips are big as shit. Seriously, it's ok to have a preference for what you like or don't, but your racist stereotypes of a huge amount of people makes me wish people like yourself would go play in rush hour traffic.
Anonymous's picture

Ditto!

Ditto!
Anonymous's picture

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