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Evelyn Lozada Opens Up To Iyanla Vanzant About Her Temper, Domestic Violence & Why She REALLY Left Chad Johnson

 

Last night, OWN aired the conclusion of Iyanla Vanzant's two-part interview with Evelyn Lozada about the public breakdown of her marriage to Chad Johnson.  And what Evelyn's been hiding emotionally.  Watch the interview inside....

 

Over the weekend, Iyanla Vanzant sat down with reality star Evelyn Lozada for a two-part interview (airing Saturday & Sunday) for Iyanla's "Fix My Life" show on OWN.  With part one taped four weeks before the headbutting incident and the second part shortly after she filed for divorce, viewers saw exactly how the relationship broke down.  And often, Evelyn revealed it was pretty much a train wreck to begin with

Iyanla walked Evelyn through her relationship pathology and helped her see how she has never dealt with being abandoned at age 10 by her father.  And because she hasn't healed, it greatly impacts her dealings with men.  Here are the highlights:

 On her temper:

"Caught up in the moment; going from 0 to 10. I always say I don’t have a medium. When that trigger goes off, it’s here. That’s how every women in my family dealt w/ conflict. That’s how my life was. My life; it’s always been chaos."

On how her marriage ended with her getting stitches in her head:

"Not paying attention, just living life a mile a minute, working, making sure everything looks good. I would say the main thing is ignoring the million and one signs. He showed me so many times, until the day of. I feel like that’s why I’m here."

On giving Chad permission to cheat:

"My conversation with him was that when you ever get into a place, I’d rather know. I’d rather you’d be honest w/ me. I think he just lives life in Chad’s world and doesn’t think about anything else. I’m like three weeks in, you’re not even trying. He’s really the one that wanted to get married."

On if she ever go physical with Chad:

"Never raised a finger. That is the truth. I think that’s what hurts me the most. That people associate me on "Basketball Wives" and say that it justifies his actions. If I spoke to him about a woman, or something I seen, he would get upset. Take my phone throw it, up in my face. I don’t get that. I knew to just leave the argument alone."

On how she felt right after the domestic violence incident:

"I was a little in shock that it went that far. All I kept telling him is ‘Your daughter’s in the house’, I don’t want her to know we’re fighting. There was blood all over my face. I said to myself, ‘This is something that I will not deal with’."

On why she left Chad:

While pointing to her forehead, she said, "This was the deal breaker. For me it was I had visible wounds."

Evelyn speaking to her stepdaughters about her behavior:

“Listening to you guys talk about me and my actions, and the things that I’ve done on TV, and the things that I’m not really proud of…I’m here to tell you guys I’m sorry for being a bad example.”

 

Evelyn thanked Iyanla for doing the interviews via Twitter, "Thank you @IyanlaVanzant for helping me to explore my issues. I'm grateful for your willingness to understand and help me grow.”

And Iyanla, who revealed that she has remained in contact with Evelyn since the taping, says she believes Evelyn has changed,

“She has changed. Otherwise she would have stayed with him. We’ve allowed the industry to glorify dysfunction. Before we get angry and turn our nose at our sisters we have to see what they need and what they are crying out for. After getting a glimpse of Evelyn on 'Basketball Wives' it surprised me that she was so vulnerable. Reality television has too much power.”

 

Watch part 1 here:

 

Watch part 2 here:

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Iyanla Went in Too Hard. For

Iyanla Went in Too Hard. For the First Time Ev I am giving you a break and here is why http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0befBIFh_I
Honeybooboo's picture

Iyanla played off of Evelyn's

Iyanla played off of Evelyn's emotions, she walked into Chad house criticizing him right off the bat, which Evelyn should have never let her bad mouth her husband (Chad) not once did this lady say anything edifying, or encouraging on how to make your marriage work. She planted negative seeds from the time she walked through the door. For her to tell Evelyn forget about Chad it's about you, when your single it's about you, when you're married it's about us. Then I thought wait a minute this chicks not married, meaning when you're married your counseling should come from someone that's married with good sense and of course GOD. It shouldn't come from someone that's divorced and bitter. She planted so many negative seeds in Evelyn, she (Evelyn) didn't have a chance because she was already vulnerable to needing help and this wasn't the type of help she needed. If you noticed it was after the first session with this lady, when all the bad stuff we're seeing in the news about Evelyn and Chad happened, yes ultimately it's on Chad and Evelyn but when you let someone in your house who has nothing but negative stuff to say about your spouse before you know it, you're acting out with stuff you've allowed this person to put in your head, and guess what if you already have issues in your marriage it's going to make matters worst, so be careful who you get your advice from. If they're not talking positive on how to fix your marriage tell them to " KICK ROCKS"

Between being negative and

Between being negative and being truthful, which one would you rather have? .. Today, people tend to negate the TRUTH with negativity and that's because some people do not like hearing the truth- so they automatically say someone is jealous, or negative; but in reality we have to sometimes step back and look at ourselves and the situations that we put ourselves in, that have people (in this case, Jen from the jump) advising us on, instead of jumping out of our skins and getting mad. People have to realize that Truth does not equal negativity, TRUTH=TRUTH, which sometimes means- reevaluation on our parts. We are not forced to take the advice, we can also look at it as constructive criticism, but we also have to be careful of pointing fingers and saying that people are always talking bad about us when that's not the case. (Especially in Iyanla's case, she is coming from a spiritual perspective). And TRUST, Evelyn needed help she was dealing with some deep rooted damages that being in a relationship would not have helped. She needs to deal with them on her own, because she doesn't love herself-- how can you claim to love someone when you don't have the love for yourself? You can't be in a relationship-when you are dealing with self hate.
adiatu87's picture

Fuck all the ppl who are shit

Fuck all the ppl who are shit talking. Fuck her image, persona and basketball wives. All of that fades into the background when you're running to the neighbors house with no damn shoes on because you're LITERALLY afraid for your safety. That she felt SAFER with the fucking neighbor than she did with her own damn husband. I've been in her shoes and it changes who you are. So I say fuck all the negative comments ppl are throwin at her. She got out and may god bless her. A lot of women never had that choice.
sianna1's picture

In summation she’s a low self

In summation she’s a low self esteem having, superficial, (I suspect lying_but that's just me -_^) dumbass. I hate I had to go there, I'm generally a nice person and try to keep it positive but I have to be honest too and I really just can't with her. What can I say “I’m a work in progress.” >.<
Peace Silas's picture

I think she was pretty honest

I think she was pretty honest on most of what she was saying. She was said she married him to prove that she could do it...I believe...she said she was afraid of losing it all...I believe...her part of how the fight went down...now im sure she wasnt being totally honest....im sure she egged it on but reguardless of what she might have said or how loud and thuggish she might have said it..didnt give him the right to react in that manner. When she was asked what she was guilty of letting happen in her relationships...and she said ignoring the signs of infidelity...but she knew he was messing around...what she was guilty of was ignoring her womans intuition simply because the price of the fame and having Chad was more important than confronting and stopping it...only until the two were married was it an issue that needed to be faced head on...because now she is married to the guy and has him by the balls....thats the part she chose not to say cause it would make her look bad.....Evelyn you know exactly what you are doing...and Chad should have never hit you or mistreated you ever but, I think you are no innocent party in this mess.
lucianamatias's picture

I think she was pretty honest

I think she was pretty honest on most of what she was saying. She was said she married him to prove that she could do it...I believe...she said she was afraid of losing it all...I believe...her part of how the fight went down...now im sure she wasnt being totally honest....im sure she egged it on but reguardless of what she might have said or how loud and thuggish she might have said it..didnt give him the right to react in that manner. When she was asked what she was guilty of letting happen in her relationships...and she said ignoring the signs of infidelity...but she knew he was messing around...what she was guilty of was ignoring her womans intuition simply because the price of the fame and having Chad was more important than confronting and stopping it...only until the two were married was it an issue that needed to be faced head on...because now she is married to the guy and has him by the balls....thats the part she chose not to say cause it would make her look bad.....Evelyn you know exactly what you are doing...and Chad should have never hit you or mistreated you ever but, I think you are no innocent party in this mess.
lucianamatias's picture

I won't sit here and judge

I won't sit here and judge Evelyn's life, but I'm sure Jen is sitting back with her feet up saying, "I told you so!" Everything that Jen, who's been one of her closest friends for years, has warned her of is coming to pass (granted, the way in which Jen made her point(s) about Chad to the media may not have been the most ideal). Life has a funny way of humbling us all when we think we've arrived to the top of our games!
ParadigmN.Paradise's picture

Reading someone's thoughts on

Reading someone's thoughts on here about Evelyn, stating it was total B.S. that Evelyn was in trouble and if this was true she would have gotten the help she needed. Well that is totally untrue, there are times when someone may be afraid to get help and or don't even know where or should I say how to begin.; therefore to get help is not always that easy no matter who you are. After watching the show, I now somewhat feel a little different towards Evelyn. At first I just saw her as this crazy bitch wanting to always have attention, and would get it at what ever cost it took to get there. However, I too can relate to a lot of what she was saying. The marriage was over before it began, this you could see as the show unfolded. I am happy for her to actually open up, and try to repair herself.....to become a better person. Hang in there Eve!

I kudos Evelyn Lozada for her

I kudos Evelyn Lozada for her courage in wanting to become the woman that God has purposed for her to be. As a woman who understands the anger that is deeply rooted from serious insecurities that I could not or refused to let go of because I never understood my worth as a woman, I applaud her for reaching out for help. It takes a lot of humility, courage and honesty with one's self to do that, and realize that "I have issues, and I need to face them before they get blown out of proportion". When you live in a world that sells you pipe dreams, and lies majority of your life, you get used to it and start allowing those lies to run your life as a person, which will lead to your emotional breakdown. When one isn't taught in their immediate family their own value, or loved by someone they want to be loved by, it is hard for that person to grow up not worn out or bitter or resentful or insecure or angry, which will eventually just lead to your poor communication skills or relationships with people in general. Some people on this thread have their own issues that they are dealing with, which in my opinion could be deeply rooted in hate and spite and pointing fingers as if they have never done anything wrong in their lives, but a word to that: "Open your eyes to the world at the end of your pointing fingers", no sin is greater than the next, and before you cast a stone, first look at your life and make sure it is perfect. We have only seen a clip of Evelyn Lozada on "Reality TV" which please don't be ignorant and say that that is enough to see- The media is NOT trustworthy and will sell out the African American community before it does any other community. I am happy that she sought help, because that is the first step in admitting that you have an issue, by humbling yourself and realize that it is not always everyone else, but sometimes it is you that has the problem. Go ahead Iyanla, you are a true Gift to those who you meet! I pray that Evelyn takes the necessary steps to continuing this healing process, because it really does FEEL GREAT at the end! <3
adiatu87's picture

Hi Evelyn!

Hi Evelyn!
Ms.Thangfromthe5thflr's picture

Ha! You are funny! .. Not

Ha! You are funny! .. Not Evelyn but God Bless You!
adiatu87's picture

People aren't hateful because

People aren't hateful because they don't buy into Ev's load of crap. She left alot out of that story. Like the fact that karma is serving her up for being a unremorseful mistress to other men and that she is in this for money. You talk about judging but have you noticed you are on a gossip blog? This isn't streamingfaith.com so all the judgement on a gossip blog should be expected and anyone that came on here is also just as guilty because if you weren't into judgement you wouldn't be on such a place.
JJFad's picture

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Onlyforyouboutique's picture

I just want to know why are

I just want to know why are people so hateful????? I mean you don't know this women yet you make such comments as if you have been knowing her your whole life! People are so quick to judge others. Put yourself in her shoes, if that were you how would you feel???? Give her a chance, everyone makes mastakes. The difference between you and her is that hers are public for the whole world to see and yours is not. So don't judge because at the end God has the final say!

I watched BOTH interviews and

I watched BOTH interviews and I was left with more QUESTIONS than ANSWERS! At the end of the day, Evelyn invited Chad's behavior into her life because of the type of energy SHE put out! Am I the only one confused as to why she mentioned CHAD's DAUGHTERS 100 times but DIDN'T mention her OWN DAUGHTER NOT ONCE??
tori's picture

"Evelyn invited Chad's

"Evelyn invited Chad's behavior into her life because of the type of energy SHE put out! " And there you have it! You attract what you are. Ratchet begets ratchet. Violence begets violence.
MsKizzy's picture

BULLSHIT BULLSHIT

BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT!!!! If you really felt that you needed help, you would've went somewhere off screen and got it. We are not buying the bullshit no matter how many times you try to sell it to us. Iyanla was over dramatic and I couldn't take it. I felt like she forced untruthful answers out of her and then she tried to force her to break down and do the ugly cry. She wanted to blame her hoeness on her father not being there. BITCH cut the excuses. You were a horny ass bitch so you went out and f--k--d point blank period. And Oprah's chimichanga eating ass talking about we were gonna feel different about Evelyn after we saw this. Have a seat Oprah and stay seated. All of this is pure damage control and Iyanla put herself in the middle of it and now I don't want to watch her show because it kinda arificialized her a bit. Evelyn said that it wasn't fair that we thought she deserved this. UHHH Let me just say that I know that Evelyn is not the bad bitch that she tries to portray. She got cameras following her, an audience and she got bodyguards which gives her the opportunity to play the hard chick that she's not. There is no way she would've talked shit like that, threw bottles and glasses and gotten away with it without bodyguards, because without them, that bitch would've been the first person in the world to have her face imprinted on the sidewalk because in reality somebody would've stumped the shit outta her. You wanted to portray that role so you get what you get. Iyanla forced her to say dumb untruthful shit like "My name is Evelyn and I am here to serve". REALLY? Serve what? Your p-ssy and soul for a pair of red bottoms. The correct thing to have said was "My name is Evelyn Lozado and I am a none muthaf--k-n factor and i'm not about that life". Girl have billions of seats!!!
Ms.Thangfromthe5thflr's picture

How are some of you going to

How are some of you going to get on here and get all holier than thou about people having a negative view of Evelyn BUT sit your arses on here and dog out Tameka Raymond, Jada Smith and countless other women over total bullshit whether truth or fact????? It kills me when people pick and choose who they want to defend then try to wrap their defense in spirituality as if that validates it over all the others. Everyone is not going to view something the way you do and their view is not irrational because you disagree.
Keys's picture

We all know you reap what you

We all know you reap what you sow. how ever no one can judge, everyone has inner demons, skeletons in our closet, a cross to bare. As human beings we have to choose to allow life/or decisions to to make us or break us. Some people have to be broken in order to change or in order to truly see themselves for who they are. I hope and pray that this is Evelyn's wake up call. When we find ourselves constantly going through things it's time to stop and check yourself for the root of the problem (Evelyn is checking her self give her time to work out her issues. The only difference is she's working hers out in public.
Graceundercontrol's picture

EVELYN PLEASE! Just stop

EVELYN PLEASE! Just stop already. I agree no woman should have to go through abuse by their partner, but you're just milking it now. Cut it out. I cannot even sympathize with this woman. I can't.
Yas's picture

Honestly I am so grateful for

Honestly I am so grateful for that women for speaking with Eve and keeping it real with her. I loved how she appoarch everything and was able to get truth and real answers from Eve despite the fact that Eve was still trying to find things. I knew that there was much much more going on with Eve during the last season on BBW's. You can tell that she had so much going on and that she was taking her angry out on other people. Yes I have bashed her with many comments on how disgusing she looked and acted on TV but that is no ones job including myself to judge because we never know what is really going on in a persons life. I feel bad for the people she attacked with her indirect anger but I am sure she looks back and realize that many situations that got out of hand with her was not that serious, and I am talking about way before Chad came into the picture. That woman was right and good. Eve needed to look within herself and find out who she was without being"about that life". We all have deep rooted unresolved issues that have not been dealt with. And we react to them all in different manners. Just wish people was able to find someone like Iyanla to talk to and open eyes to what people want to blindly not see. I pray Eve continue to seek help and not just be a role model for abusive women but be a role model for women in need of a spiritual awareness to Self. I believe her story can touch many. And people need to stop kicking people while they are already down. that is a punk ass move. What comes around goes around and like the lady said Eve is paying for it. So people need to stop bashing her already and fall back.

i am so proud of Evelyn for

i am so proud of Evelyn for getting out of an abusive marriage, my husband tried killing me in front of my kids, went to prision and I still took him back, althought its over now, the first hit should always be the last. I like seeing Evelyn being open and honest, this realy takes courage. I to watch Basketball wifes, and yes Evelyn was a thug, and the saddest point in the show wes watching Evelyn not only attack her best friend of ten years, but the way she attacked all the other woman that she did, was hurtful to watch but it makes sence. when you always feel unloved of betrayed, and you dont know who to trust, this was the outcome. Chad was cheating on her, Eve use to be a hoe, but to have the people in your circle not keep it under wraps with you was a betrayl.

Lesli, it's great to hear you

Lesli, it's great to hear you got out of that relationship even after taking him back. So many women don't get the opportunity. They fear being stalked and/or killed. As you know, many women are killed after leaving, so God bless you. I think the thing that hurt me the most was seeing how her behavior affected Chad's kids. What's more, the kind of example Chad is leaving these three young, beautiful children. He's a poor excuse for a man. I felt so bad for those babies.
Sunflower Jones's picture

hopeful she learn from her

hopeful she learn from her mistakes.
stepup2's picture

After watching this show, it

After watching this show, it amazes me that people still don't get it. For those with such vile attitudes toward Evelyn, please do not decide on a career as a therapist or counselor. I think Iyanla is amazing. She gets it. She understands the condition of human beings. What many fail to see (or just don't want to see because of your hatred for this woman) is that there is cause and effect. Obviously, if you watched Iyanla's show with an open heart, you'd see that Evelyn, and so many of US (even right here on this thread), have some deep rooted issues that cause us to behave in ways that are inappropriate and darn right detrimental to us and those around us (especially our children). Sometimes we see it and sometimes we don't. Unfortunately, millions of people sat at the table and feasted on Evelyn's behavior every time they watched BBW (and loved it). If there was no drama, how many of you would've kept tuning in, so please lose the self-righteous, holier-than-thou attitude. At least Evelyn had the courage to get help. Whether you want to believe it or not. She made herself vulnerable in front of millions of people and is asking for help. That takes a lot of courage. Also, maybe with her going public, so other women will take not and deal with their inner demons. It's not just about Evelyn. No one knows the heart but God. Whether people want to condemn her or not, I will not join the bandwagon. I wish her the very best. Change takes time, and if she goes back to her original ways, that's on her. With that, peace.
Sunflower Jones's picture

Evelyn screwed up behavior is

Evelyn screwed up behavior is indicative of most people on reality tv. They may not have her exact issues but they are really screwed up which is why they seek validation on the national stage. Now I don't usually have a hardheart towards anybody seeking help, but Evelyn is cunning and conniving so she will use any outlet, venue or situation for gain because beyond her screwed up life she seems to be a evil person bottomline.
Keys's picture

One of the 1st things Iyanla

One of the 1st things Iyanla said was that Evelyn reached out to help change her image. Let me hit you with a headline! ONLY Evelyn has the power OVER herself, so it is you, Ms. Lozada who needs to change YOUR image. Domestic Violence is serious & I'm appalled at some of the comments....from girls/women on this site & others...."Chad should have beat her...really???" That's very ignorant & unless & hopefully not until you've walked that path, NO man SHOULD EVER put his hands on a woman...and vice versa for that fact! Evelyn doesn't draw public sympathy for ONE reason, HER voluntary portrayal of herself on a reality show. While I think Shaunie has some responsibility as an EP, she doesn't control another person. Shaunie IS not a true friend, she's more of a fence rider, but this isn't about Shaunie. It's about a woman who thinks her behavior on screen is/was acceptable. It's about her portrayal of the consensus that she's a gold digger, loose, & making the mistake that she's the baddest b**. You have a daughter, Evelyn, would you condone this behavior from her as your mother obviously condones from you? I only make this statement because she referenced several times in this interview she was not taught anything else, which is, in my opinion, the ONLY real & true thing she's ever said & acknowledged. Everyone around her enabled this behavior & now she is reaping what she has sowed which has spilled off into her interpersonal relationships with both men & women. She is sad, but Iyanla,I disagree with your statement, Reality TV doesn't and never had the power, Evelyn controls Evelyn & she needs to make the decision about her own image & portrayal of self. She may need the tools for her anger issues, but she is grown enough to know right from wrong, and if the image she has on BBW didn't/doesn't fit, walk away...unless there was/is an underlying reason like fame & fortune - did she really sell herself?? Most of us think so, only she knows so. PS: She HAD 2 walk away from that idiot, because the depth of the backlash is more than she was willing to deal with.

Evelyn needs to get her

Evelyn needs to get her dysfunctional self off of TV and get her life in order. The longer she's on TV the more she's making herself look like a fool. She knew from jump Chad had issues, but she chose to go along with it for those dollars and camera time. Enough of her already.
MsKizzy's picture

last slice of pizza ass-rat.

last slice of pizza ass-rat.
shuga's picture

Yep! He told her to her face

Yep! He told her to her face what he thought of her. He was able to be married to a woman that was attractive, attention-seeking and willing to let him cheat. He had the best deal. He could play hubby and hoe at the same time with a woman that only really wanted to be married to an athlete.
Keys's picture

bitch please. so basically

bitch please. so basically if he didnt leave a bruise on her face then it would be all good?? hoe sit down. we've seen you cry a fake river a million times already. ppl do change but not that much and not this soon!
shuga's picture

i don't understand your issue

i don't understand your issue with her spike shoes like i have those and i dont behave like E does what does her spike shoe have to do with anything

She's just now realizing her

She's just now realizing her behavior on BBW was/is disgusting? Not many people deserve to be physically handled...but you've got to wonder about Karma for this one.
TheMrs's picture

I wanna see him punch her

I wanna see him punch her till she shits out her bones....then throw her down the stairs.....................
LisaRaye&#039;s Subconsciousness™®©'s picture

I don't trust her! Time will

I don't trust her! Time will tell. She's getting the publicity, the media attention she craves that's the bottom line. She wants it however she can get it and Iyanla gave it to her. All of the media outlets should not give her face time...
Reign's picture

Evelyn and Iyanla are giving

Evelyn and Iyanla are giving me the school age kid (Evelyn) who keeps getting into to trouble yet her Auntie (Iyanla) keeps going up the school to straighten her out…
Kia Lovesbi's picture

Most people don't sympathize

Most people don't sympathize with Evelyn because of all of the nastiness and ugliness she PROUDLY displayed on BBWs. We ALL reap what we sow--and one by one, everything she clowned other women for is happening to her. Cheating with other ppl's husbands, now she's being cheated on. Disrespecting/cussing/hiting women--now she's being disrespected, humiliated in public, been hit/head-butted, etc. How do you literally make a career out of being a hoe and then expect monogamy? Pot. Meet. Kettle.

Well, I do applaud her for

Well, I do applaud her for recognizing the signs and being strong enough to know what she needs to do. I still don't like her onscreen persona on BBW.
Ethel Mertz's picture

Sadly she lost a good friend

Sadly she lost a good friend in the midst of the facade. She actually seems really nice. People have to learn that you reap what you sow. As Iyanla pointed out, she really thought she could behave that way with other women and then another with this man. She all women deserve to be happy. I truly hope thru this, she really finds her value
VIRTUOUS1's picture

This chic makes me ill. She

This chic makes me ill. She makes a mockery of domestic violence. Firsts ths rode the 'non mofo' factor bus..it broke down, then there was the 'act a fool and jump on other women' train that took here to the 'Karma' subways. Now she's riding the victim tricycle. Someone please run her over.
rant's picture

DYING at your post! HAHAHAHA

DYING at your post! HAHAHAHA so true!
Annie B.'s picture

I really hope she grows as a

I really hope she grows as a person after this, only time will tell. No judgement here
Kara's picture

Good luck to Evelyn for

Good luck to Evelyn for taking the necessary steps to heal herself and move forward to positive and productive relationships...maybe this might be the quiet change we need to address the dysfunction portrayed in realty t.v. Big respect to Eve for stepping up and out...no matter what people may say she did have the courage to come forth and cry for help...Courageous!!
lifeisgood's picture

Nobody is buying that bitch

Nobody is buying that bitch bullshit. She wanted the money. She knew what she had and now she is trying to save face/Image due to she is suppose to be a big bad bully so how can she stay married to someone who kicked her ass. Now it is public. This hoe should have been beaten to a pulp. she was always jumping on Women, now she got jumped on. Karma is beautiful. Whip that Bully ass Chad. You act like a man and fight. Be dealt with
lola69's picture

I'm trying my best to feel

I'm trying my best to feel sorry for Evelyn! I just can't! Bitch is just too evil!
Didshesaythat's picture

Fake Tears from a Fake ass

Fake Tears from a Fake ass hoe. I hope Jennifer black ass had a party. I told you so Ev party.
lola69's picture

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