SCHOOLIN' LIFE: Beyonce's HBO "Life Is But A Dream" Documentary (FULL VIDEO)
Beyonce Knowles just exposed her life for the world to see in her HBO documentary "Life Is But A Dream." It aired tonight, and in case you missed it--and all the first time revelations--check it inside... *FULL VIDEO INSIDE*
You've seen all the previews. Now check out the HBO documentary, "Life Is But A Dream" (for now, only a portion is online). What we get to see for the first time: Beyonce revealing first hand that singing is her first passion, A baby belly, Blue Ivy smiling and chillin' with mommy, Beyonce's love-gushing birthday toast for Jay at his 2006 birthday party, the twosome singing Coldplay's Yellow" to each other, pink rollers she rocked while in labor, and we hear the song she wrote at her saddest point--after her miscarriage.
Here are the highlights from the inspiring and revealing documentary:
On her miscarriage
Two years ago I was pregnant for the first time. I heard the heartbeat. Something happens when you hear the heartbeat. You truly know there's life inside you. I picked out names. I envisioned what my child looked like. I was feeling very maternal. My family was so excited. I flew back out NY to get my checkup. And no heartbeat. Literally, the week before, I went to the doctor and everything was fine. But there was no heartbeat. I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I'd ever written in my life and it was the first song I wrote for my album.
On letting her father go as her manager
I'm feeling very empty because of the relationship with my dad. I'm so fragile at this point. And I feel like my soul has been tarnished. I feel like I had to move on and not work with my dad. And I don't care if I don't sell one record ever again. It's bigger than the record. It's bigger than the career.
On the biggest reason she wanted to manage herself
At some point you need your support system. You need your family. You're trying to have an everyday convo with your parents, and you have to talk about schedules. I needed boundaries. And I think my dad needed boundaries. I needed a break. I needed my DAD.
On if she got her relationship with her dad back
No. It was hard. I had to sacrifice my relationship with my dad. It was a stressful, sad difficult time. But I had to let go.
On Blue Ivy's name
We passed by a beautiful blue tree [overseas]. I think it's blue ivy. That would be quite appropriate.
On feeling Blue kick for the first time
I felt the baby kick for the first time. It kicked 5 times! I've been waiting for that moment. Hopefully it'll do it again so Jay can feel it.
On bringing Daniel Sr. (Julez's dad) to Paris with them last year
This is the time when your memories really stick with you for the rest of your life. I wanted to give Julez the memory with his dad. I know how important that is.
On hiding her pregnancy
There's no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you. But you have to make sure everything is ok. So I had to hide the best thing in my life. I was scared to make plans, but I went to the doctor who said 'Listen, you have to let it go. You're healthy and if this baby is supposed to be here, the baby is going to be here. Go do everything you've been doing and everything will be fine.'
On being her own manager
My father taught me so much about being in this business. Business and being polite...it doesn't match. You can be fair. But me being polite wasn't me being fair to myself. Now I'm learning how political things are. A lot of the crazy things my father did were necessary.
On getting frustrated
Sometimes I think, should I just retire? All I need is NOT me. I can't do it by myself.
On connecting with Jay
We connected on a spiritual level. It's just a coincidence that he's also an artist. Hes taught me so much about being an artist. I, like a lot of women, give up so much. But he doesn't....Having this baby made me love him more than I ever thought was possible. It's every woman's dream to feel this way about someone.
On giving birth
I felt like God was giving me the chance to assist in a miracle. There's something so relieving about life taking over you like that. You're playing a part in a much bigger show. And that's what life is....the greatest show on earth. My baby was born out of a conflict in my life. And that conflict had to be settled.
On ended up with a blessed life
My grandmother used to light candles all the time in the church to pray for my mother. I am a result of my grandmother's prayers. My grandmother prayed for me. My mother prays for me. God is real. And God lives inside of me. It doesn't matter where I am. I feel it. Like right now, I'm hot. It's inside of me.
Check out the documentary in part below as Beyonce spends time with Blue Ivy. UPDATED with full video: