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SPEAK ON IT: Jada Pinkett Smith Clarifies OPEN MARRIAGE Comment, "Will And I BOTH Can Do WHATEVER We Want"

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Jada Pinkett Smith has used her "open marriage" comment to spark a wider discussion about love and trust, which some folks might find controversial and thought provoking.  Speak on it inside.....

 

For the past couple of years, Jada Pinkett Smith and her marriage to Will Smith has been scrutinized in the public eye and the media.  Folks question how they've managed to make it in Hollywood for so long, if they're really happy or headed for divorce and if they are "allowed" to have extramaritial affairs.  But out of everything associated with the couple, from hit movies to super-talented kids Jaden and Willow,  it's the "open marriage" conversation which seem etched in the minds of fans and gossips.  

On her Facebook page, Jada talked about the "open marriage" issue yet again, but decided to deconstruct her previous "Will can do whatever he wants" statement to ask her followers how they define love & trust within their own "grown" relationships.

She said,

Open marriage?

Let me first say this, there are far more important things to talk about in regards to what is happening in the world than whether I have an open marriage or not. I am addressing this issue because a very important subject has been born from discussions about my statement that may be worthy of addressing.

The statement I made in regard to, "Will can do whatever he wants," has illuminated the need to discuss the relationship between trust and love and how they co-exist.

Do we believe loving someone means owning them? Do we believe that ownership is the reason someone should "behave"? Do we believe that all the expectations, conditions, and underlying threats of "you better act right or else" keep one honest and true? Do we believe that we can have meaningful relationships with people who have not defined nor live by the integrity of his or her higher self? What of unconditional love? Or does love look like, feel like, and operate as enslavement? Do we believe that the more control we put on someone the safer we are? What of TRUST and LOVE?

Should we be married to individuals who can not be responsible for themselves and their families within their freedom? Should we be in relationships with individuals who we can not entrust to their own values, integrity, and LOVE...for us???

Here is how I will change my statement...Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship...this means we have a GROWN one.

Siempre,

J

Hmmm....Mrs. Smith sure said a mouthful. And from her statement, it's plain to see that she and Will are connected on a spiritual level that every person in general public may not grasp.  But it sounds like she's saying you shouldn't have to TELL your partner what they can and can't do. If they love you the way you want to be loved, then they will do right. 

But the real question here is, would she leave if Will really did what he wanted....and it was something she wasn't feeling?

What is a "grown" relationship for you?

SPEAK ON IT!

 

 

Comments

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Please stop with all the Blah

Please stop with all the Blah Blah bullshit...Simply say that u are Aware and Accepting that your husband is a Homosexual
star's picture

who cares.

who cares.
wildlife's picture

Different strokes for

Different strokes for different folks....go figure
Texasgurl40's picture

I think Will and Jada are

I think Will and Jada are BOTH bisexual. She has masculine attributes and mannerisms, and he has feminine ones. There have been rumors about both of them being gay. I think they probably have a friendship that is on a surreal level, and it leaves room for them to "explore." On another note, Will has been looking really sickly to me lately...something about his skin and his eyes. I just hope all is well health-wise.
JRS's picture

Why did Jada mess up her face

Why did Jada mess up her face like that? She was a beautiful black woman just the way she was. SMH.

She and lil Kim must have the

She and lil Kim must have the same plastic surgeons. Hollywood is a pit of devil worshipers.
SunnyAutumn's picture

They playing spades. Hell to

They playing spades. Hell to the sanctified NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ain't there yet. Well, to each his own.
In God We trust's picture

There is nothing to "speak

There is nothing to "speak on" ....leave them and let them live their lives, cause nothing we say will deter them form doing what they want, after all they owe us NOTHING......

Jada. Learn from the best:

Jada. Learn from the best: Beyonce. Beyonce's silence is Golden cause they don't allow the public to dictate what they should know about her marriage...and it works like a charm. It's nobody's fucking business what's in your marriage...case closed and stop speaking on it.
Marketing Gimmicks's picture

I got 1 word AMEN!!

I got 1 word AMEN!!
Realist's picture

Just because you can change

Just because you can change something doesn't necessarily mean that you should. Those of us who saw "5 degrees of separation" have a pretty good idea of what Will likes to do on those long caribbean weekends away with Duane Martin. That's not my issue. My issue is the constant attack on the RELIGIOUS INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE. Marriage is a bond between a MAN and a WOMEN in front of and under the tenants of GOD, God has given us rules, therefore if you enter into this religious union you are surrendering yourself to a set of rules and guidelines. Point is....... You Can't Just Do What You Want In An Institution Recognized By God. If it's a civil union do whatever you want, but if it is marriage there are certain guidelines one SHOULD follow and we as society should embrace. But the more important question I have for Mrs. Pinkett Smith is...... Why does Jayden always have the "Mommy make them stop touching me" face? But I've already said to much
WallStreetWilli's picture

Within marriage sure you can

Within marriage sure you can do whatever you want but if you chose the wrong thing there are consequences that have nothing to do with enslavement but instead with trust and respect. She's sending mixed messages and should probably keep the details of her grown relationship to herself next time. Let Iyanla handle the deep stuff. Thanks
Denise2007's picture

Translation - Will has fucked

Translation - Will has fucked around before and so has she hence they both can do whatever the hell they want! They are grown and have to live with their choices so not sure why so many people care.

Jada, you brought this on

Jada, you brought this on yourself by TALKING SO DAMN MUCH and trying to be 'philosophical' about everything. Like many celebs, you're a hypocrite: you're all for open, honest and lengthy conversations about everything BUT your marriage. Maybe you didn't mean to imply that you & Will have an open marriage; and now that folks are weighing in you're upset and trying to explain. How 'bout this...you should never talk about your marriage to or with the public. Whatever you & Will do or don't do should not be said publicly. Note to self.

Thank you!

Thank you!
BEEMA SUX DIX's picture

Exactly!! She was on Oprah,

Exactly!! She was on Oprah, the cover of Ebony and Essence and this is what she has always spoke about so she has MADE this everybody's business. The masses figured out long ago that these 2 are weird. Ossie and Ruby Dee they will never be...
Missy's picture

Maybe you need to go find

Maybe you need to go find yourself a grown relationship Natasha! This is so ridiculous instead of cheering this beautiful couple on for staying together for so long we're trying to pick apart their marriage and relationship. Shame on you black people SHAME ON YOU!!!
JamaicanGal's picture

I might be mental but surely

I might be mental but surely she does not mean that Will can cheat on her ...she just means that she TRUST he should be matures enough to make decisions good for his family ...than her having to stress herself to think of what he is doing well and what not...
HAPPY's picture

@lola69 how are her kids out

@lola69 how are her kids out of control? do you see them out drinking and smoking? are they out here being arrested? the kids are working and hanging out with their parents and friends, I just don't get how you can call this woman's kids out of control. It makes no sense.
kayla1010's picture

Basically they don't have an

Basically they don't have an open marriage, but if one of them sleeps with someone else, that's a decision they will have to live with. I'm guessing they will forgive the other person and move on. They have a good outlook for unconditional love and THEIR marriage. If it works for them, it's none of our business. I doubt this will end the conversation though. I remember her saying on Oprah that Will was such a good and attentive lover that she wished every girl could sleep with him.....she might be getting what she asked for!
PinkyDaGoddess's picture

Damn, why people got to be so

Damn, why people got to be so simple minded? She is not talking about an open relationship in the terms ppl automatically assume...she is not saying will can fck whoever he wants. Its so obvious if your read her statement, the open relationship means something different and more substantial to her than sex. Open mean and openess to express your needs and wants. They have a beautiful connection and I know they will be a success. I really wish media outlets would stop sensationalizing every little thing she says and making it sound like something its not. Can we lay to rest this stupid open marriage thing with these two? Stop trying to ruin the successful black couple!!
Supermodel01's picture

no comment on this bullshit.

no comment on this bullshit.
BEEMA SUX DIX's picture

i wish she had the same

i wish she had the same passion for Parenting dem out of control kids. I rather her take an interest in raising them kids right instead of our future Lohans, Spears , Culkins
lola69's picture

I'm over her

I'm over her explanations..she's annoying now...you and Will can beat it...
cutethatsall56's picture

She makes a valid point.

She makes a valid point. Marriage is not ownership, it's partnership between 2 grown people. Once this is realized then people will stop wasting their life away stressing about will he/she or won't he/she cheat on me. At the end of the day they are both grown ass people and if they do decided to break the trust and respect then they have to suffer the consequences. At no point did she say 'he can do whatever he wants including (disrespect me and cheat on me) and I will just accept it'. Umm, no, Jada ain't stupid. With love and trust and respect your partner will not want to do things that will bring harm or hurt to you or the relationship. People are taking the 'whatever he wants' comment and assuming he WANTS to cheat and disrespect the relationship etc. Everybody doesn't want to cheat.
PacificGirl's picture

You go! Tell it! People are

You go! Tell it! People are stupid if they cant clearly interpret what she is saying.
Supermodel01's picture

I think Jada brings up a good

I think Jada brings up a good point - marriage is not a guarantee of anything. Temptation and desire does not suddenly disappear when you get married - what is supposed to happen is that you are supposed to think of how your actions impact not only you, but your partner as well. The idea is that you should always put the needs of your union above that of yourself. If that is always you and your partner's main priority then, usually, your marriage will be successful. It's a lot of hard work - but there is no ownership in love - just the belief that you ARE your spouse and whatever actions you take directly affects them. Marriage is a deeply personal arrangement that has to be tailored to specifically fit the two people that are involved - there is no rule book and most of us learn learn as we go - sort of like parenting.
urbanpetals's picture

That was nicely said and I so

That was nicely said and I so agree!!
sianna1's picture

This is why being with

This is why being with someone who has a relationship with God and who knows the deep spiritual roots and bonds that come with giving of your body to someone, and how that plants a bad seed when it comes in the form of adultery is so important. It's all a choice no matter what people try to translate it into as use for their own scapegoats; unconditional love is a choice...being "in love" is a choice, AND honoring the sanctity of your marriage through the CHOICE of monogamy is a choice only "GROWN" strong people can make. It takes a lot more strength and courage vs. deciding (out of the fear that your mate can't make the braver choice) that it's ok to "do whatever we want" in a relationship. They aren't fooling anyone but themselves. God first for me, in any relationship. That's all.
memoirs.of.a.keisha's picture

*e high-five* Thank you!

*e high-five* Thank you!
MrsCPA's picture

My spouse and I both LOVE and

My spouse and I both LOVE and TRUST each other to the fullest. We've gone through enough and have GROWN to the great place we are in now. That said, however, neither of us can do WHATEVER we want because, in addition to the LOVE and TRUST, lies another important ingredient to a successful marriage....RESPECT. Now, in regards to the Smith's, do whatever works for your marriage. No further explanation needed.
MrsCPA's picture

But you can do whatever you

But you can do whatever you want because you are grown adults, no matter how much you try to muzzle another person they WILL do whatever they wan too do, It has nothing to do with an open marriage it has to do with each and every day that you walk out that door, you make a personal decision to go back home or not, to step out of your vows or not, it's all on you, you cannot force anyone to do anything, it has to be a personal choice to do it. You all are overlooking the truth in what she is saying, they are grown people, they can do whatever they want, but clearly they have both chosen to honor their marriage.
kayla1010's picture

Speak About It: Okay....I

Speak About It: Okay....I KNEW THEY WERE GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jesus H. Christ's picture

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