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NOTHING TO SEE HERE (Or Is There?): Jets Baller Kellen Winslow Accused Of Masturbating In Target Parking Lot Before Arrest, Now He Explains....

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In case you missed it, Jets Tight End Kellen Winslow has been getting dragged on social media today when news of a SECOND reason for his recent arrest hit the net.  And now, he's denying the embarrassing situation.

 

Deets inside...

Here's one way to get out of being caught choking your chicken: Say you're looking for a Boston Market.

Earlier this month, news surfaced that Kellen was arrested in a Target parking lot in the Hanover, NJ area back in November.  At the time, it was simply said he was arrested for possession of "synthetic marijuana"....whatever that is.

But today, it was also revealed that when police got to the scene (thanks to a random store goer who as walking in the parking lot and claimed she saw Kellen's naked and erect penis exposed in his Escalade), they ended up investigating a "lewd act" accusation.

What's that lewd act, you ask?  The police report, that is now public, says a supposedly exposed penis, as well as two--not one, but two--open containers of Vaseline led the police to believe some shady activities could have been going down.

When Kellen was asked what he was doing in the parking lot--in addition to smoking his substance--he said he thought the substance was LEGAL...and he was looking for a Boston Market.

Here's the rundown from CBS Sports:

Winslow was arrested on Nov. 19 for possession of synthetic marijuana. We knew that already. But sordid details of the arrest came to light via NJ.com's Dom Cosentino. These details involve Winslow allegedly masturbating in the parking lot of a Target.

"As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was," the report reads. "As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account."

When cops arrived on the scene, they asked Winslow what he was doing and he allegedly told them he was looking for a Boston Market.

The cops said that Winslow had his pants on by the time they found him, although he did apparently have "two open containers of Vaseline on his center console."

Winslow also had, according to the police, empty plastic containers of "Funky Monkey" and empty bags of "Mr. Happy."

No, this doesn't relate to his "Boston Market excursion." Those are the forms of synthetic marijuana that Winslow was allegedly in possession of; he also allegedly told police that he purchased it from gas stations and on the Internet and smoked it because the NFL doesn't test for it.

 

Huh? 

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Oh, there's more from Sports Illustrated:

According to the police report, an officer found Winslow allegedly “slouched in his seat and moving around.” Winslow sprang to an upright position and allegedly told the officer he was looking for Boston Market but was lost.

The officer wrote that “his genitals were not exposed” but “two open containers of Vaseline [were visible] on his center console.” The report also cites the presence of plastic bags marked “Mr. Happy” and empty plastic containers of “Funky Monkey” scattered throughout the vehicle.

Winslow reportedly told police he smoked the “Mr. Happy” and “Funky Monkey” to relax and that the NFL doesn’t drug test for it. Police reported he consented to a vehicle search after which a few items were seized into evidence and Winslow was free to go.

While Kellen was getting totally dragged by social media today, his publicist, Denise White, felt the need to speak up.  She posted this explanation, which basically said he was in the process of changing clothes to cover up the smoke smell.  Yes, the same smoke smell that came from the substance he thought was legal:

 

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Kellen also has a wife and two kids (pictured above).  Chile...

 

Photos: Kellen's Twitter

 

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