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FANTASIA SPEAKS: "I Just Wanted Out!"

Fantasia is finally speaking out in her own words.  The 26-year-old states that her overdose a few weeks ago was no accident, and she "just wanted out."


More deets on her first interview since her suicide attempt when your read on...

Fanny did an interview with VH1's Behind the Music (airing 9 p.m. ET/PT tomorrow--the same day her album Back To Me drops).  And she opened up about her recent suicide attempt and wanting to die.  She talks about her overdose being no accident, and how she attempted suicide so she could have a way out:

"I didn't have any fight in me. I didn't care about anything. I just wanted out.  At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it, all of that [expletive]."

"I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can't accidentally take a whole bottle of pills."

"I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family – my father, dealing with men and their [expletive] – I was tired. "My head was hurting me. I was over it."

Her manager Brian talked about what Fantasia texted him right before, and how he found her:

"Her emotions were extremely low.  She'd been crying all day. Fantasia was just numb. Fantasia texted me, saying 'I love you.' I wrote back, 'I love you more.' Then it hit me."

"I wrote, 'You better not do anything or think about doing anything stupid.' And I left it at that. About 10 minutes later, Fantasia texted me back, and she said, 'Already did.' I went into Fantasia's room and saw her on the floor, and my heart just dropped."

Fantasia went on to talk about her thoughts when she "realized" Antwaun Cook, her lover, was still married, and her thoughts once she awoke in the hospital the day after her attempt:

"When I met him, he was separated ... wasn't living in his home. He didn't want to be back with his wife – that is what I was told," Barrino says. "I remember waking up in the hospital [and thinking], 'It didn't work, I'm still here in this hellhole. Still here with all this drama going on.' "

"My nurse Melanie was a blessing into my life because she didn't tell me what I wanted to hear," she says. "She told me what I needed to hear. And she looked at me and said, 'You gotta get up, and you've gotta get out of here, 'cause you haven't fulfilled your destiny.' "

"I realized how people end up in the grave. Because that one moment [snaps her fingers] of just breaking or feeling like I can't, I can't go on, it's too heavy. That was somewhere I don't ever want to go again."

Sounds like her attempt was her rock bottom and rude awakening.  I'm sure we'll see it all play out on the new season of her reality show "Fantasia For Real".  In case you missed it, check out these pics of her and Antwaun having a "meeting" the day after she got out of the hospital...cameras in tow.


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Grow up Fanny! You are

Grow up Fanny! You are beautiful and talented. A lot to offer the RIGHT man. Get yourself together for your daughter's sake. Put yourself in her place had you actually done away with yourself. Come on now. Black women are stronger than that. Ain't no man worth killing yourself over. Not one.
Gin and Tonic With a Twist of Lime's picture


http://theybf.com/2010/08/23/fantasia-speaks-i-just-wanted-out#comments yourself. You came off so much better than she did. I really like what you wrote. And how you wrote it. You also did not allow her to change how you expressed yourself. I hope she picked up on a few things from your post. Fantasia is worthy of compassion.
asvasv's picture

I feel sorry for any young

I feel sorry for any young girl who is looking up to fantasia. How in the world do you imitate Christ while commiting adultery then trying to commit suicide? Does she not know that she would have been burning in HELL this minute. God still showed his mercy upon her and spared her the flame. This situation has opened my eyes even more about False Prophets and looking at the fruits that an individual bears to see what kind of tree he/she is. I am so ashamed that ppl who claim to know the truth are behaving worst then the unbelievers. This is why in the last day every man will have to stand before God for their own sin....... so for all those real Believers out there who has been redeemed and delivered by Christ, please change from your evil ways and continue to stand for our True Christian Beliefs. No amount of money, sex, or drugs can give us the peace that JESUS CHRIST can.
Anonymous's picture

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Pervaiz Iqbal's picture

Yall are so lonely ass dildo

Yall are so lonely ass dildo in the puss every night no companion ass bitches, take care of your own house before you start telling Fantasia or anybody else how to run they shit. Yall are not in her shoes so you can’t judge her or any other person for sincerity of how they feel. Just the sound of that is so lame.
Imam's picture

You were so proud of that

You were so proud of that comment that you posted it twice? Had to wait till your mother was sleep to play on the computer and play with yourself? Just plain ignorant.
Anonymous's picture

1. What is she wearing??? &

1. What is she wearing??? & 2. I never notice how annoying her voice is...
Anonymous's picture

flip it ..no longer the

flip it ..no longer the villain ...now the victim...no biz like show biz....LUV TASIA..EITHER WAY .
Big Mama Cornbread's picture


Real talk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It plays like a movie of the week special on lifetime.
Anonymous's picture

You get no sympathy from me

You get no sympathy from me Fantasia. You got yourself in that situation and then you were going to take the easy, bitchass way out and leave your daughter. Seriously...f*ck you.
Anonymous's picture

smh she was going to leave

smh she was going to leave her child.. she owes her daughter an apologie im happy she is ok but that was really selfish of her i hope she will never try this again
Anonymous's picture

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dfgnsrnt's picture

you gettin ready to die and

you gettin ready to die and you call your manager? mmm hmmm. fantasia ought to be pimp slapped for thinkin the public that stupid.
Anonymous's picture

that goes to show you Brothas

that goes to show you Brothas aint shit, she got a man that can't divorce his wife, she got brothers and her father living off of her. BLACK MEN AINT SHIT
BMF's picture

Sooooo all black men are to

Sooooo all black men are to blame for her getting in that situation? Okay if she didn't know he was married, the minute she found out she should have left. But she stayed. Didn't care and then was going to kill herself and make her child suffer. Black men don't have anything to do with that. I'm sorry. There are too many good black men out there for you to make that general of a statement. What you put out is what you get. I guess that's why I have a good one...
Anonymous's picture

she aint cute

she aint cute
Opinionated's picture

There is nothing wrong with

There is nothing wrong with how Fantasia looks. Fantasia definitely needs a stylist because you don't wear a dress with cut outs when you have back fat and a little roll on the stomach. However, her makeup and hair are always tight and she is quite attractive. Now, she is still on some BS with her publicity stunts but it has nothing to do with her looks.
Anonymous's picture

So shit!

So shit!
Anonymous's picture

When I met my husband, he was

When I met my husband, he was married. He had been separated from his wife for 14 years. They hadn't seen each other in 10 years. He told me he was waiting for his daughter to turn 18 before he divorced her. Although they had been separated for 14 years he was concerned that if he were to get divorced while his daughter was a minor, that his wife would be entitled to more than just child support. But I didn't just take his word for it. His sister confirmed it the same day. I was always around his family and most of them I didn't even have to question. They just told me his situation to ease my mind I think. Then when his daughter graduated I went to her graduation and to the open house and the wife was there. We didn't speak and it was an awkward situation but at that point we had been together almost two years. Me and his daughter were close and she always spent the holidays and the summers with us. His attitude was always like, where ever I go, you're welcome to be. He wasn't trying to hide anything. I went to his family reunions every year and we lived together. The wife would call every now and then telling him to get a divorce but she never would file. But she promised she wouldn't give us any problems when he did. When his daughter turned 18, he filed for his divorce. I didn't have to say anything at all about it. He just surprised me one day and came home with the paperwork that he had filed. At that point we owned a business and were self employed. Sure enough the wife got a lawyer to see if she was entitled to anything even though she told him she wouldn't give us any problems. When she was sure she couldn't get anything from us, she went ahead and signed. It took about 1 year for it to be final from the time he filed and we were married 1 year after it became final. I know I committed adultery by being with him and that in itself makes it wrong to be with a married man. Is there any difference between me and Fantasia besides the outcome?
Amil's picture

The only reason you were

The only reason you were wrong is because adultery is a sin. But compared to your situation and Fantasia's there is a BIG difference. Your husband had been separated for 14 years, Antwan was separated not even a year. So the marriage was over in his heart. Maybe not the wife's heart but this happens. I would never date a man who was newly separated from his wife or a man who just had a baby. The situations are too knew and fresh and you never really know what's going on. You verified the information plus he wasn't hiding anything. It doesn't make you a whore. A whore is a prostitute or anyone sleeping with multiple people for money. A slut is a person who sleeps with multiple people just because they like to. They don't have to get anything from it, the sex is the prize. So don't listen to these bitter bitches. Yes you were wrong because you did sin in God's eyes by sleeping with a married man but that does not make you a bad person, whore or slut. And you were not wrong for going to any of HIS family functions. If he wanted you there then that's all that matters. If the wife showed up and saw you there then oh well. After 14 years of separation if the wife still has not let go that is HER problem. It does not mean your husband will commit adultery on you because of karma. Although I believe in karma it does not mean the same exact thing will happen to you. People on here are so ignorant.
Dareelis's picture

And when did she try to sugar

And when did she try to sugar coat anything. The first thing she said was when she met her husband he was married. You bitter bitches need to get over it. This situation is so different than Fantasia's.
Dareelis's picture

If you're the other women

If you're the other women then you are the other women....Why do people always try and sugar coat it????
Anonymous's picture

does't matter how long he's

does't matter how long he's been separated you were wrong in interfere in that marriage...then you were so disrespectful to his wife by going to anything the family had whether she was there or not...and then going to the daughters graduation that was sooo wrong ...trust me your Marraige to him won't last ...what goes around will come around...so don't try to sugar cote this crap ...I don't get it...
not going to last's picture


Anonymous's picture

nope your both whores, only

nope your both whores, only difference is your man was seperated longer . still you like many other black women dont realize seperated isnt divorced and that crap he fed you about waiting till the kid was 18 was bs best believe he was taping that ass. but you will have to answer to god regardless plus your hubby is tapin others as we speak
tdew's picture

Girl stop. I know both of

Girl stop. I know both of them and what Amil failed to tell you is the ex-wife lives 4 hours away, the ex-wife cheated on him and he took her back time and time again until he got tired of dealing with her ass. He loved his ex and did what he could to make it work but if she was the slut. And you can't make it work if the other person doesn't want it too. When he left his ex-wife she became a CRACK-HEAD. So I know for a fact he wasn't tapin' that ass. He and Amil have 3 children and she is a stay at home mom, although she is in school gettin her BSN. They also have their own real-estate business and she runs the business end. All their children and the two he has with his ex-wife have trust funds. The oldest two received theirs when they were 18 which they got a guardian from the courts to be over their money so the crack head mother couldn't have access to it whenever she pleased. If he or Amil were cheating I would be surprised. All I'm saying is if you're going to take that chance with a married man, make sure it's worth it because I know my girl and her kids will be taken care of if he ever decide to nut up!
Anon's picture

comeing back with a different

comeing back with a different name petending to be a fiend who sings you praises lmao , a ho is a ho ma
TDEW's picture

There sure is a difference.

There sure is a difference. The key phrase is "I just didn't take his word for it". In addition, your man was separated 14 years not months to a year. Last but not least, you are not playing victim. You acknowledge what you did was wrong.
Anonymous's picture

I don't believe she did that.

I don't believe she did that. Maybe I'm still in shock and don't want to believe it. Why people keep saying she's ugly I think she is a cute young lady who has a lot of growing up to do. What she did was all kinds of wrong though. I hope she gets it together for the sake of her daughter.
April's picture

thats messed up how could not

thats messed up how could not even think about her daughter and what taking her life would do to her it's like damn we all have issues but even if she did not want to live for herself she should have though about her daughter not having a mom that's selfish
yasmine23's picture

I totally agree with you I

I totally agree with you I feel just like they could lock Linsey Lohan for her behavoir they ought to do the same for Fantasha..for being selfish not considering her child What's the different?
sick of this's picture

I agree. Who tries to kill

I agree. Who tries to kill themselves when they have a small child who needs them? THAT IS STUPID AS HELL !!! And all of this over a Negro. Chile please.........
Speaking_My_Mind's picture

am uess the ones that are

am uess the ones that are being mean have never felt like theres no way out well let tell you alot of times you just feel like your child would be better off trust me been and done that
Anonymous's picture

feeling like there is no way

feeling like there is no way out is when you get your ass down on your knees and pray, god never gives us more then we can handle in a days time , we all know that, selfishness makes people give up, only thinking about how they feel in that moment and i cant respect that at all its weak and bullshit i know people have problems and things they go through that we may not understand but wrong is wrong, if you put your child through that your a piece of shit who dont deserve the life god gave you
tdew's picture

I have gotten so depressed

I have gotten so depressed that I felt people were better off without me. However, when you get that depressed, there is no way you are going to pop out of that state in 24 hours and be camera ready confronting the man that hurt you. You can't turn depression on and off like a light switch. You can fool some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time
Anonymous's picture

Fanny is playing victim.

Fanny is playing victim. What about Antwan's wife and children??? They are the real victims of this mess. This is why people need to wait until a divorce is final before they start dating a person who is married but separated. I don't feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for her daughter.
Anonymous's picture

i have been a follower of

i have been a follower of this story from day one I have never left a post on any of these sites but i felt the need to do so in regards to this story I really appreciate and resect Aura comment that is extactly what/how I feel about this whole thing. you can be the most strong willed person anyone knows but once depression sets in it is usually inevitable that you wont have thoughts of suicide we as black women don't like to ask for help from family and friends we are used to being the providers the caretakers so we ignore all the warning signs and once suicide is thought of you just think of it as bing the most easy and painless ways to go(pills)I have thought about and even attempted it twice I live my life one day at a time now and I still struggle I dont have those thoughts anymore thanks mostly in part to my beautiful three year old daughter and I really take the time to pray and talk to God now...I just hope this help someone...lots of love ybf family
keke77's picture

She gets no sympathy for me!

She gets no sympathy for me! Not once did she mention her daughter...F the men and crazy family, you keep going for your baby. Her priorities are messed up.
Anonymous's picture

Did she ask for your

Did she ask for your sympathy?
Anonymous's picture

That's exactly what I was

That's exactly what I was thinking. She didn't mention her daughter. My first concern was her daughter's well being. Why would you want to leave her.But maybe she will get her self together and think of her daughter when things get tough.
Anonymous's picture

Really? Like, for real, for

Really? Like, for real, for real? Man, nobody in this day and age wants to accept the responsibility for their actions. I know everybody is different, but damn, Fantasia. Somebody has to have a sense of RESPECT about themselves to say, Antwaun if its TRUE you are separated and in the process of divorce from your wife. I have a child, a image, morals, reputation, and all that good stuff to uphold, so bro if you really want this nook, call me when the ink dries. I KNOW WOMEN WHO DO THAT NOW, and their not in Hollywood. Because, nine times out of ten, the men are LYING. Accept the fact, sista, you got this man and flaunted him in every magazine, buying motorcycles and shit, calling the wife even in your latest song flaunting the affair. You created this MESS, now you want out. Pathetic. If I sound mad, sista, I am. Im pissed at the fact you boast of your relationship with him. Now the wife and media is about to tear your ass apart you WANT OUT. You MOTHER FU@#$R,. Then, your stanken ass wasn’t seen with your daughter hugging her and telling her your sorry for BEING SELFISH and not thinking of her. YOU WERE IN THE PARK WITH ANTWAUN. Even in this above statement, you NOT ONCE mentioned your CHILD. Whether you care of not, brown and white babies love you, and this is not the IMAGE I want them to think blacks need to grow up to be like. Recently on the news two commentators on MSNBC was discussing Fantasias interview that will air tonight. Both white women almost laughed that Fantasia attempt suicide, and was about to leave her child behind. The two also went in on the fact that Fantasia has MILLIONS of young girls that look up to her and admire her. Saying is this what she want to show them to be like. The "COMPASSION THEORY", went out the window long time ago. OWN IT, ACCEPT IT, MOVE ON FROM IT. Nobody need to HOLD this GROWN ASS WOMAN HAND. DO SOMEONE HOLD YOURS? Fantasia, sucked and fucked this man, while flaunting it to the soon-to-be-ex-WIFE, MAGAZINES, and on songs. NOW, YOU WANT OUT? Really? Some of you on this cite say let GOD Judge, have compassion, point the finger at the wife. When your chidren do something wrong, do you reply to him or her, "I cant spank, or say you did wrong for stealing a piece of gum, because only GOD can judge and say your wrong for doing that"? Really?
ProudBlackSista's picture

Preach! Agree 100%. Fantasia

Preach! Agree 100%. Fantasia knew what was up from the start and for her to try to take the easy way out because her ass is embarrassed is a cop out. And what about your daughter Tasia? You were willing to leave her motherless for a dude? Come on girl, grow up.
suga's picture

Couldn't have said it better.

Couldn't have said it better.
Anonymous's picture

Fantasia enough already, that

Fantasia enough already, that shit happened last week.. we're over it!
Miss GQ's picture


Anonymous's picture

Hate to be the cynic, but . .

Hate to be the cynic, but . . . Fanny . . . PLEASE. The whole "suicide" attempt was a publicity stunt to promote her new album . . . SYMPATHY SALES. Her call to manager that she'd "already done it" was obvious signal she didn't want to die and didn't really want out. And she speaks so freely about it right now. . . OK, let me see . . . suicidal 2 weeks ago . . . now all fine healthy ready to go, back in the spotlight . . . and back in front of the cameras completely playing out all the "DRAMA" that had been too much for her to bear. This level of phoniness is just astonishing to me!
Anon's picture

I don't understand why she

I don't understand why she would want to commit suicide and she has a daughter. Her daughter alone, should of been reason alone to live. You gonna let some dude that most likely don't give a sh*t about you anyway, be the reason you leave your daughter without a mother? I'm glad she didn't die and I hope she realizes that the reason she didn't die because it wasn't time for her to die and God has so much more in store for her.
Melody's picture

Well, Tiger Woods is

Well, Tiger Woods is officially divorced, so I guess none of the homewrecking hoes he slept with will be interested now. No fun in dating a SINGLE man, huh?
Anonymous's picture

Good googly moogly y'all have

Good googly moogly y'all have started going in on each other since I left. I thought the topic was Fanny Mae?!?
Jazmine's picture

Damn. Yall hate hard Im mixed

Damn. Yall hate hard Im mixed on this. I hear what ppl are saying about the daughter she has, but when you feel like the world is against you and there is sooo much psychological pressure and anxiety, its hard to focus on the people that really love you, I know cause I have felt like this. You just want shit to be over and I don’t support suicide, but it isn’t a walk in the park deciding to take your own life. I been very sad and unhappy and just wanted stuff to stop because of all the stuff I was letting my mind let me believe, but I could never take my own life away. I have wanted to die but couldn’t end it like that (even though it sucked I still wanted to keep pushin, but me and fantasia are different). Plenty of mothers do this not because they don’t love their kid(s) but because they are the ones dealing with stress that seems way too much, and they unfortunately make that decision. But I know that doesn’t make any difference to online flamers so go ahead and bash, I don’t care, you don’t know me. BUT this does look sorta fishy-like. I do not know the details of her life but I have never heard of anyone attempt suicide and be “just fine” so fast. Even though I think this is real (trying to kill herself) I think they just want her to sell records. She should be away from her freaking family and the freaking media and that freaking dude, and just take some time to reflect and spend some time with her daughter. I think the record companies are trying to ride on this “feel sorry for her bc she tried to commit suicide thing” because she has had high expectations and hasn’t been delivering the way people thought. Sympathy will certainly make her lack-luster sales go up, at least for a little while. I always hate it when someone makes these long ass commits, now im posting one lol
Anonymous's picture

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