Again - Girl stop. From the nature of your posts I can only gather that you are a single mom who has a deadbeat Daddy for your child (I add this one to the one on praising Lil Wayne as a real man). Let me advise you since I'm a MARRIED mother who is raising 3 that were conceived &&& born IN WEDLOCK (that was my lifestyle choice, and I made it happen by refusing to live with him, procreate with with, or even do a wifely duty for him until I had papers)...Don't glorify (out of wedlock births) bc you possibly made some OTHER choices. Now it is true that the rates for having babies as single moms is rising, but that's a choice of man, not necessarily God - if we believed everything that happens in our world is ordained, you'd have to believe He ordains murders and other horrifying acts that happen to innocent people. Also, how can you discount the ceremonies between slaves that DID occur in high numbers, bc even though the society that welcomed our babies into slavery didn't allow civil unions, our people still respected the fact that their "weddings" created a family unit for those babies. It was an act of necessity that evolved from the respect our men had for their women. What has happened since then is that we Black women have devalued ourselves by allowing men to live with us, make babies with us, not support us, and generally do anything they darn well please to us without at least marrying us! Recognize your value and know that decreasing the numbers of non-supported or un-fathered Black children doesn't decrease the race, it enhances it. Trip if you want, but the numbers of those kids that go on and become a part of our high incarceration rate and low college completion rates are what you should be worried about! I celebrate the mom's, single or not, who voluntarily take on the real struggle of IMPROVING our racial outcomes by making the conscious choice to bring children into situations where they thrive on ALL fronts, not just those that lie down and produce..., animals can do that. Sometimes, that means having the 1st one alone, but not necessarily 3 or 4 more, sometimes that means actively not becoming the 4th baby mama, and sometimes that means not having anymore by Mr. Wrong. It's never easy, but we have to move according to what we want for our kids. Decide what you want, and don't settle for less - we are queens - WE'RE WORTH IT!