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SO...WHO LIED? Friends Of The Patton-Thickes Say The MILEY CYRUS Performance Caused Major Strife In The Marriage + Paula Steps Out For FIRST TIME Since Split

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Despite what the couple said a few months ago, sources close to Robin and Paula are now pointing to Robin & Miley Cyrus' VMA performance as one of the major sticking points in their troubled marriage.  More inside...

Remember Miley Cyrus' "twerking" at the VMAs?  While the performance put both Miley and twerking on the map (for some folks) it simultaneously took the marriage of Paula Patton and Robin Thicke down a very dark road.

While both Robin AND Paula initially claimed that the performance was "pre-approved" and everything was known in rehearsals....new deets to the contrary are leaking out. 

Sources closes to Paula (who've been speaking out A LOT) are telling TMZ that Paula felt "utterly disrespected" when she saw her husband bumping and grinding with Miley. We figured she would have been, because WE would have been, but Paula played it cool when talking to the media about it....

After the performance, the couple allegedly had a HUGE a blow-out and Paula told Robin she felt insulted. AND supposedly...ding ding ding...the performance WAS a total surprise!  The friends are saying Miley improvised the raunchy part....but Robin played along! 

A source told US Weekly,

"The Miley Cyrus fiasco was a big test of their relationship.  He asked her to help him out as a friend and a wife, and defend him and the performance. He begged her to speak out for him and be there for him. She agreed to be the good wife after he begged and pleaded. "Then he asked her to stick with him through awards season, and she agreed. She attended the Grammys with him as a favor."

And what about those pics of Robin touching a groupie's butt in the club? Paula was PISSED about that too! Friends say things just got worse after that....and never recovered. It seems like Paula no longer trusts Robin after, like, two decades of being together. But...should she?

Paula was spotted at LAX on Wednesday. It was our first time seeing her since the split was announced...

Photos via MTV/Getty/Paula's IG

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